[ Every single time, no matter how worried or unhappy or frustrated Warren has been, he's always sounded even-keeled. He's always approached it as a pack activity and a touch base.
Right now?
Right now he sounds like a ticking time bomb just waiting for the right moment. ]
Do you know what happened on deck just after the breach?
[ It's not the quietly crisp tone that he'd use on his subordinates. This is a seething, shaking thing.
He's angry.
And he wants Lark to know he's angry.
It isn't directed at Lark. It isn't a knife point. It is a pointed show of true emotion to make the point that this is serious to him. Serious enough that an attempt to finesse him will be taken poorly. ]
[ Oh, that's... he's got that tucked away somewhere in his worries. Don't think he hasn't noticed. But he also wasn't sure if Trevor would have said something.]
The breach was traumatic for Ulla. When she got back. And she started a storm, a rough one, on deck.
I was there. Trevor was there. And I was talking her down.
I made it very. clear. that he wasn't to use violence on her. I made it very. clear. I had the situation in hand.
And then he decides to try to use his whip on her. I assume? To get the mirror. or the knife. out of her hand. Neither of which. was. a good idea. Given the blood on the floor.
I caught it. And told him. Again. No.
And yet somehow? I ended up. with a knife in my back. That he threw. At her.
[ Warren is, at heart, a constructive person. He wants to build: structures, ideas, people. Which is why, now that he is absolutely sure that Lark is aware of his anger, he can move on. ]
What do we need to do?
You, Iris, me. Tim would be a good bet as well. Jacobi... won't be up for it until he's cooled off from me getting hurt. Pagan, since he's back. And I know he's clever.
Because that? Cannot. happen again.
Not to me. Not to Ulla. Not to any warden. doing their job.
[ Some of that anger shows again, because this feels like Lark's ignoring what he just said. But he's already got Jacobi upset. So. He'll try to answer. ]
I assume he was drawn by the sound or the feeling. The wind came through the staircase. Or he was just up on the deck.
I'm thinking a lot of things, Lark. I? Am very good. at managing multiple priorities.
One of the things I'm thinking is that I have some concerns about you. Since you're being vague about what's going on. why I've barely seen you. And what you're having trouble with.
I'm going to take his weapons. I'm putting him under constant supervision. I'm still thinking about what else I'm going to do. And I want to know how far your doubts about me go right now.
Doubts imply any of this is intentional. I have zero doubts about you, Lark. That is not my issue right now.
Nor do I think babysitting Trevor and taking his toys away is the problem here. I was an inmate too, one with an interest in helping out. One who did help out, several times, during situations on board. If the will is there, he'll find a way.
What I want to know is... why your inmate thought I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Because I will not deny the presence of any number of numbskulls on board. But the fact that one of your own decided I was one of them speaks to the fact that you either didn't tell him I wasn't. Or you did, and he didn't care. And I would have liked to be appraised as such.
I want to know why pack and pack dynamics are just for me and mine, or even Iris's... but when I bring up working together on your shit, you change the topic. John is progressing and I shouldn't have to tell you it's because all three of us are helping him. Ulla trusts you, and I know that if I go down, you'll look out for her. Jacobi knows you know what you're doing. That I trust you.
Meanwhile, you're not well, you're uninformed, and you are leaning into managing me instead of working. with me. So either tell me what I did. to be held at arm's length like this. Disrespected like this. Not even invited to see you in person.
Or come talk to me when you've figured out which way to pull your head out of wherever it's stuck.
[Quietly] I'm not trying to disrespect you. You've done nothing to deserve that.
But if you want to know why he didn't believe you could handle it, you would have to ask him. He doesn't give a shit who I vouch for, Warren. I've never given him reason to doubt you or your ability as a warden, and I can't make him see differently. That's the problem with him: he refuses to see anything but what he knows, and he is patently disinterested in trying. There is no motivation there to change. Which means I need to manufacture something for him to push back against.
That everything is a fight. That everything has to be a struggle. That he'd rather have an enemy made up, or make one up himself, than deal with reality as. it. is.
[ A breath out. A slow one. A tired one. ]
And that addresses Trevor. But it doesn't address the rest. Why are we having this on communicators? We've never done that. And why didn't you think that was something I needed to know?
[ A breath out again, softer. He scrubs his face with a hand. ]
One of the things I promised Jacobi, promised. him. was that listening to you? Being part of this. Wouldn't be like it was with Cutter. It wouldn't be 'need to know'. We'd all have a seat at the table. We'd all be. in it. for each other.
[ He breathes in now. ]
He accused me of treating her like Maxwell. Ulla. He's not... wrong. And I admit... [ A swallow. ] I admit I'm- I'm more- I am. significantly. more heated. than I would be. if it was anyone else. That she was attacked not once. But twice.
So you're probably getting... some of that. I'm sorry.
Encouraging her brilliance. Accepting the kind of behavior I wouldn't from almost anyone else. The way I talk about her. The way I want to rip apart anyone who'd hurt her.
Their stories... aren't that different. Is the thing.
I'm just trying to give Ulla what she needs to bloom and come to peace with herself.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
after the incident on the deck
[ Every single time, no matter how worried or unhappy or frustrated Warren has been, he's always sounded even-keeled. He's always approached it as a pack activity and a touch base.
Right now?
Right now he sounds like a ticking time bomb just waiting for the right moment. ]
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[ It's not the quietly crisp tone that he'd use on his subordinates. This is a seething, shaking thing.
He's angry.
And he wants Lark to know he's angry.
It isn't directed at Lark. It isn't a knife point. It is a pointed show of true emotion to make the point that this is serious to him. Serious enough that an attempt to finesse him will be taken poorly. ]
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The breach was traumatic for Ulla. When she got back. And she started a storm, a rough one, on deck.
I was there. Trevor was there. And I was talking her down.
I made it very. clear. that he wasn't to use violence on her. I made it very. clear. I had the situation in hand.
And then he decides to try to use his whip on her. I assume? To get the mirror. or the knife. out of her hand. Neither of which. was. a good idea. Given the blood on the floor.
I caught it. And told him. Again. No.
And yet somehow? I ended up. with a knife in my back. That he threw. At her.
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Shit.
[He takes a moment, just one.] How is she?
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She stopped the storm to heal me. And then we started dealing with the damage.
[ A short pause. ]
Tell me. you understand. why. I am livid right now.
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What do we need to do?
You, Iris, me. Tim would be a good bet as well. Jacobi... won't be up for it until he's cooled off from me getting hurt. Pagan, since he's back. And I know he's clever.
Because that? Cannot. happen again.
Not to me. Not to Ulla. Not to any warden. doing their job.
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I assume he was drawn by the sound or the feeling. The wind came through the staircase. Or he was just up on the deck.
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Any other questions?
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One of the things I'm thinking is that I have some concerns about you. Since you're being vague about what's going on. why I've barely seen you. And what you're having trouble with.
There's a few thoughts. How many do you want?
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I'm going to take his weapons. I'm putting him under constant supervision. I'm still thinking about what else I'm going to do. And I want to know how far your doubts about me go right now.
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Nor do I think babysitting Trevor and taking his toys away is the problem here. I was an inmate too, one with an interest in helping out. One who did help out, several times, during situations on board. If the will is there, he'll find a way.
What I want to know is... why your inmate thought I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Because I will not deny the presence of any number of numbskulls on board. But the fact that one of your own decided I was one of them speaks to the fact that you either didn't tell him I wasn't. Or you did, and he didn't care. And I would have liked to be appraised as such.
I want to know why pack and pack dynamics are just for me and mine, or even Iris's... but when I bring up working together on your shit, you change the topic. John is progressing and I shouldn't have to tell you it's because all three of us are helping him. Ulla trusts you, and I know that if I go down, you'll look out for her. Jacobi knows you know what you're doing. That I trust you.
Meanwhile, you're not well, you're uninformed, and you are leaning into managing me instead of working. with me. So either tell me what I did. to be held at arm's length like this. Disrespected like this. Not even invited to see you in person.
Or come talk to me when you've figured out which way to pull your head out of wherever it's stuck.
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But if you want to know why he didn't believe you could handle it, you would have to ask him. He doesn't give a shit who I vouch for, Warren. I've never given him reason to doubt you or your ability as a warden, and I can't make him see differently. That's the problem with him: he refuses to see anything but what he knows, and he is patently disinterested in trying. There is no motivation there to change. Which means I need to manufacture something for him to push back against.
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That everything is a fight. That everything has to be a struggle. That he'd rather have an enemy made up, or make one up himself, than deal with reality as. it. is.
[ A breath out. A slow one. A tired one. ]
And that addresses Trevor. But it doesn't address the rest. Why are we having this on communicators? We've never done that. And why didn't you think that was something I needed to know?
[ A breath out again, softer. He scrubs his face with a hand. ]
One of the things I promised Jacobi, promised. him. was that listening to you? Being part of this. Wouldn't be like it was with Cutter. It wouldn't be 'need to know'. We'd all have a seat at the table. We'd all be. in it. for each other.
[ He breathes in now. ]
He accused me of treating her like Maxwell. Ulla. He's not... wrong. And I admit... [ A swallow. ] I admit I'm- I'm more- I am. significantly. more heated. than I would be. if it was anyone else. That she was attacked not once. But twice.
So you're probably getting... some of that. I'm sorry.
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What does 'treating her like Maxwell' look like in practice?
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Their stories... aren't that different. Is the thing.
I'm just trying to give Ulla what she needs to bloom and come to peace with herself.
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What happened that caused her to act out like she did?
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I can work with anything. But I'm only going on what you give me. And if you don't give me anything?
I get surprises.
[ A short pause. ]
And we aren't done about your tendency to not ask. or accept. help. Not by a long shot.
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