ukan | spam; the last journal post

[Lark looks at him. His eyebrows are up in skeptical want-to-believe-you fashion, but seriously Steve. Steve. Have you looked at yourself?]

Was this propaganda, or some sort of advertisement for a muscle-building tonic...?

[Yeah, he sees that look. Some tiny part of him is actually kind of amused, because he knows this looks pretty crazy. Most people think it's crazy when he explains in reverse, but at least it's more believable when you're talking to Captain America, face to face.

Which you still are, by the way.] Propaganda. Can't advertise something you haven't got anymore of, can you? I got the only dose there was - and no, it didn't wear off, I asked the Admiral to reverse it. Which is why I have clothes that'll fit you.

[The proof is in the pudding? Or closet, in this case.]

Since apparently you didn't have any in your cabin? [He kind of points out - then slips through the doorway into the bedroom to actually get the clothes he promised, because that was the point, here.]

No, uh... [Well Lark doesn't like to talk about himself but they're sharing histories. Or at least Steve was willing to offer.]

I lost my home. It burned to the ground, with everything in it. My cabin looks like my first apartment, back in law school, and it's got about as much in it as I had then. Which is almost nothing.

[He starts dressing the second he has the clothes, and gives Steve another bewildered look when he realizes how much bigger he must be to have worn these.]

Why did you ask him to reverse it?

Ah-hah. [Well, he understands that concept. Makes more sense now, he doesn't need much more information, although,] I'm sorry. Losing your home is tough.

[What he gets is a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, plus boxers if you want them because going commando is overrated.]

Because I think the Admiral is right to take powers away from inmates until they're ready to have them again, and I don't think powers make a person who he is. Figured I might as well prove it, because I'm not a fan of just spouting hot air.

I'm a lawyer at home. And the fact I'm here, without a trial- it's hard for me.

[That is a gross understatement.]

But usually I would agree with you. Powers are dangerous, especially in the hands of people who are being incarcerated for some crime.

However I don't know what I did wrong. And my powers- those are very much a part of me. They changed my body, they changed how my brain works.

Yeah, the Admiral's not so big on trials. Although a lot of the people that turn up here wouldn'tve gotten them, anyway. [Because they're dead. But Steve does believe in due process, he does, it's just not an option here, and he signed on all the same, so he won't go back on that now.]

Yeah, I understand. Mine, too, if you want to get technical. [Beyond the obvious, his memory's as sharp as it ever was, but it's no longer eidetic, and he can't think twelve steps head in a fight like he could with the serum.] But even something that changes that much, it doesn't affect you. And whatever you do need to fix, I think you've gotta do it as yourself. And just that, but there are plenty of people arguing that that means powers included. I just don't think so.

And it's also a safety problem. We've got people killing people, powers or not, but you can't deny that powers make it easier and leveling the playing field's not always a bad option. [It's why he did this, too. To prove that he's not hiding behind a perfect physique.

He shakes his head.] I don't have an answer. One person shouldn't come up with it, anyway, if we're going to think about changing things.

I'm a wolf. [It sounds absurd to say it so bluntly. That's why he has never, not once, said it like that before. But he's fried after the week he's had and Steve doesn't seem the type to dismiss him out of hand.]

I can change into one but even when I'm human, I think like one. I am one. The Admiral limiting how often I can be in one form or the other doesn't change that, and I don't know what it would do to me if he tried.

It's...very hard for me to know I can't choose what to be. But I see your point. I am still me, wolf and human, even if I'm on two legs and wearing a kind stranger's clothes.

[Fortunately, Steve doesn't show even a second of disbelief. Instead, he asks, completely seriously,] Like a werewolf, then? [He's been one, himself, actually, albeit during a flood. But it hadn't really affected him like that. He hadn't kept thinking like a wolf when he wasn't one.

He's about to say there are other werewolves aboard, but he holds off on that for just a minute. It might not be his information to give out, really. All the same, he can understand Lark's point, too.] I understand that it's not easy. But I hope you can understand that this place is a prison, even if it's an unconventional one. What it isn't is a life - or death - sentence. The point is to get you out of here, trust me.

But even I have to admit that the Admiral's a shitty boss, sometimes. And sometimes, the wardens make mistakes. We're - well, most of us - are only human, but we are doing our best. We genuinely want to help.

[He gives a little one-shouldered shrug, tries to smile a little, at the roundabout thanks.] And there are teenage girls on board whose delicate sensibilities you probably shouldn't be offending. [It's definitely a joke. He's pretty sure they have all seen naked men before.] You want a few more things? There's laundry one floor up.

[He nods; exactly like that. Kind of.] What sort of mistakes?

[The bit about the girls makes him laugh and nod, wincing a bit] I kept wishing for a fig leaf. Your clothes are a much better fit than that, though; I'll try to replace them, have them back to you whenever you need them again.

They get angry. They get scared. Angry, scared people make mistakes. [He suspects that if you're a lawyer, you know this.] They go after the wrong people, or they act rashly.

Usually, though, people are dangerous here because something's made them dangerous. There are... things happen. We call them floods. They can affect how you act, or how you think. Who you think you are, even. [So he might as well admit,] I was a werewolf, once, during one of them. For about a week.

[He grins a bit, sort of a knowing smile. He's felt like a piece of meat on parade before. He might not actually miss that part at all.] I'm glad they're getting use, other than my best buddy stealing them. [Okay, not that he minds that. At all.] That's fine. If I need 'em back... you'll probably notice.

I can ask the Admiral for some of your own, though, too. Or any warden can. So you don't have to wear someone else's. Usually requests go through pretty quick, but sometimes not. Depends on his mood.

What was it like for you? [He's never, ever met someone who didn't love being a wolf once they were one. But the wolves he's seen here are nothing like him, so it's not hard to imagine it being a nightmare.]

I don't want to use your clothes when you might need them again, but- I also don't want to owe anyone anything. Especially the Admiral. [A sheepish shrug] That must seem ridiculous I know.

Being a werewolf? Confusing, a little. It was - a lot like being drunk. Or maybe buzzed, is the word I'm looking for. Heady.

But a little terrifying, too. [He remembers wanting to reassure people that he wasn't an evil creature. Most people had been pretty accepting, actually, so it had turned out well, all said and done.

When Lark says he doesn't want to owe anyone anything, though, Steve shakes his head - and grins.] Buddy, I don't blame you one bit. [Steve Rogers has always hated owing anybody anything. He'dve rather killed himself working things out on his own than take charity, if Bucky hadn't managed to somehow give him charity without making it seem like that's what was happening.] Just keep 'em. If you think you owe me... pull KP on a lunch shift in the mess hall for a couple days, and we'll call it even.

[He nods. It's like that, the second or third change. The first time is just hell.

He chuckles at Steve's offer, and holds out a hand.] You have a deal.

[And he has to ask, has to know more about these other wolves:] Was there a pack for you here?

[Yeah, he's pretty sure it was. By now, it's a little hazy, in the way the flood memories often are.

Steve takes that hand and shakes it, and he doesn't have a superhuman grip, but it's still firm, like he means it. He does.] Good. Then we're square.

[Steve's mouth twists a little, but it's more in thought, at how to explain it, than anything else. He actually understands the concept of pack pretty well - he's kind of been adopted into the one that's here, without ever meaning to. But,] Not... at the time, except for my best friend. It was - everyone swapped worlds, if that makes sense. The pack that's here got all spread out. Funny enough, the guy who's normally a werewolf ended up in the stars and stripes, and his best friend swapped places with mine.

It was a really strange flood. My first one, actually. They're not all that crazy.

[He chuckles] Your first one and you were a wolf? I know people who've died trying to get that experience.

How did the wolf like being that guy? [nodding at the uniform in the poster]

I've been a gryphon, too - that was different, though. [Grin.] But more fun.

You know... we don't talk about it much, [he says, almost thoughtful.] I guess - I know what he went through, if he was me. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. [A small shrug.] But he did just fine with it, at the time. He's a good guy - a real good guy. High school, though - still just a kid.

[Not that Steve has any less respect for teenagers. Hell, not that he looks much older than that, right now, but that's the damn problem with being short and skinny.]

He must be something. High school and already a wolf? [He whistles softly] The youngest I've seen--the youngest who survived the change--was nineteen, maybe twenty.

[It is hard to think of Steve as being...well. If you go by Lark's world's version of WWII, then Steve would be in his eighties. But frankly it's hard to think of him as being any older than fourteen, between his tiny stature and his easy smile. Smiles are always loaded, like pistols, in Lark's circles.]

Yeah. He is. Like I said - he's a good guy. Strong, but it's more than physical. [Scott's got great character, and he's still learning a lot, but he's got a lot to give, and he's not afraid to give it, either.] Maybe things work differently in your world - things sort of parallel each other kind of strangely, from what I've seen. [He laughs a little.] Hell, most of the people here think I'm a comic book character. I'm pretty sure I'm real.

[Yeah, there were comics, but everyone knew they were still based on a real guy. That's different.

And technically, he'll be ninety-seven this week, but he definitely remembers people thinking he was Bucky's kid brother for about... forever.]

So do all wolves feel like you do? Think like wolves, even when they're not?

You're real enough to me. As real as a werewolf. [Giving him a sly grin.

He sits back, thinking about that- it's a simple answer and a complicated one.]

Where I'm from, yes. My mind works the same way whether I'm a wolf or human, but if I stay a wolf for more than a few days things get...foggy. I think our brain chemistry get so completely rewired in the change that we become both things at once, all the time.

Which, I admit, I have never seen back home. [Have a sly grin right back.] But a guy fights off alien invasions and a crazy German with a skull for a face, and he learns to accept a hell of a lot as real.

[He considers that answer, though. It's an interesting one, but...] It makes sense, honestly. And I can't even say that it's a good or a bad thing, but... [Have that sly grin again,] I can't imagine how you ever managed to keep enough patience to handle working in a courtroom.

[He actually respects that. Quite a lot. Arguing the law isn't his job, but he respects that law, and the people that work within the system, even if it's not perfect.]

There is a trick to it. [Leaning a bit closer, even though they're alone in the room] I only represent men and women in organized crime. Then I scare them into giving me almost all of their earnings. If they complain, there's the threat of jail- or death.

[Mostly death.] You'd be surprised how smoothly things go with a client when they suspect you really will kill them in their own prison cell.

Ah-hah. [Steve considers that, smiling almost secretively.] That's some trick.

I am vaguely familiar with the tactic. [A guy like Captain America? Yeah, you put him nearby, and a lot of people are willing to talk, just to miss the opportunity to meet his fist. He doesn't always like using that kin dof tactic, but sometimes it's necessary, and he'd rather scare people into talking than let innocents suffer because they don't have the information they need to stop something from happening.] It's pretty reliable.

Edited 2015-07-02 20:39 (UTC)

[Lark laughs and this is probably the moment he starts to really warm up to Steve, Warden or not. It's hard for him to get attached to anyone as grounded and stable as Captain America, for a lot of reasons, but when he can?

...Yeah he's thinking the poster is propaganda but the inspiration behind it is real.]

Have you ever learned something you didn't necessarily want to know, using it? I represented a drug pusher once who felt the need to tell me all about how his mother, a former stripper, went from being incredible to...well. The decline of a stripper-mother isn't something I bargained for.

[He makes a bit of a face - no, that is not a decline he'd like to hear, either, but he's got to nod.] Some people get talking, they don't know how to stop. Maybe it's a guilty conscience, maybe it's an attempt at self-preservation, but...

[He shrugs a little.] Most of the guys I've nabbed were fanatics. They don't break down like that, they're too mired in what they believe to go into the rest of it, too busy spitting in your face. I've got a couple of people, back home, though - when I find them and get them talking, I'm not gonna want to hear what they've got to say, but I'm gonna make 'em talk, anyway.

[He nods, wincing.] I represented a few in my earlier days. I'd never go back to that. I'll take deranged drug lords over someone who can't form an original thought, any day.

How often do you have to deal with fanaticism?

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