ukan | IC CONTACT

I did when I was young. Before they took us away. My brothers took me out to the lake and taught me how to swim on on hot summer days.

I've been to the ocean. Those beaches that are so perfect, you can see all the way down to the sand at the bottom. But that lake was murky. I couldn't see where my feet were. I couldn't see where I was. My hands disappeared as soon as I started paddling. I remember thinking that I couldn't drown because I just stopped existing in the water.

The lake was popular; there was always a lot going on. There was so much chaos around me, but I just kept trying to disappear.

Why did you want to disappear, John?

I don't know. Boyhood whimsy, I suppose.

I tried it again when I was older. When I was John Duncan.

It was easier to disappear then. But I didn't need the lake anymore.

[John won't see the curious tilt to Lark's head] You feel you've successfully disappeared, then? Has that changed here?

[Lark might hear the flash of annoyance in his voice.]

We're not talking about here, Lark. We're talking about there. [But as quick as the hint of anger was there, it's gone, replaced with amusement.]

I did disappear!

Sure. But was it the way you wanted it to go? What advantage is there in it?

In disappearing?

It was how I first said yes. I said yes...to whatever I needed to be.

And you never looked back?

What would I see behind me that would be worthwhile?

Because you know, you don't actually disappear into the lake. You're still there. And there are things in the lake. Waiting to ensnare you.

There's a lot to be said for gator wrestling. You seem the type. [What else is the Power of Yes, but accepting the challenges?]

Not in my Prada, Lark.

[A bit of Prideful teasing, but he can't resist.]

That is what's happening here. Not gators, though. I haven't met one yet.

Give it time. What's the hardest thing you've had to do here?

[And now having spilled everything he wants, he's reluctant to be truthful from here on out.]

Endure this chaos, I suppose.

You were preparing for the end of the world. Surely this doesn't compare.

[He takes a breath.]

There was no chaos there. There was Joseph and Jacob.

And what are you without them?

[This is a question he's wondered since they first met, and one he doubts John has a complete answer for yet.]

I'm not without them. Not as long as I follow my brother's teachings.

No. But you don't have his guidance as you face new situations, ones he wasn't preparing you for.

But I have Yes for that.

You asked me who I was without them. I'm whoever I need to be.

Adaptability is admirable. And rare.

But who is it that's making those decisions about those adaptations?

[The real John might well have 'disappeared'. But that only makes him invisible from the outside. There is still someone in there choosing.]

Edited 2021-11-19 01:12 (UTC)

Me.

[He knows what Lark's getting at, but John isn't ready for that answer. Not that complete of an answer.]

Then what adaptations are you [subtle emphasis] making to survive here?

That depends on who you ask.

[Nothing if not self aware.]

I'm only asking you.

Do you think I'm trying to be deceptive?

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