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DEAR ABBY
[One day, a lock box appears in one of the common areas. Dear Abby is written on the side, along with instructions:
Deposit your concerns, share what ails you, and Abby will advise.
For your privacy, the acceptable format for your letter is as follows:
Dear Abby,
I have a concern.
Signed, Concerned Writer
(Your name should always be a one or two word summary of your concern.)]
no subject
I have recently lost my virginity. Well I don't mean lost, exactly, I know where it was. My point is, I don't really know where to go from here, since it was a fairy thing. I mean the magical kind, not the--never mind.
Anyway, after that someone offered to continue things casually. I don't know if I should, since I've never done anything like that before. I don't mean morally. I'm just not sure if that's "me," you know? And stuff on the Barge seems like it could get more complicated than it has to be.
What should I do?
Signed,
Sex Is Nice
no subject
Back from the DEAD again, Pauline? NICE! All those dark rituals must have PAID OFF!
Speaking of which, my own resurrection's hit a bit of a SNAG! Seems my twitter followers got a little OVER-EAGER! As soon as my CORPSE cooled down they started SAWING OFF CHUNKS and selling them!
Now, this would be HILARIOUS if it was anyone else, but I worked PRETTY HARD for that physical vessel! Know any good lawyers on the OTHER SIDE? Short of that and the CURSE OF A THOUSAND FIRE ANTS I placed on anyone that disturbs my resting place, I'm a little STUMPED as to what I can do!
Signed,
GOING TO PIECES!