ukan | IC CONTACT

To try in the most half-assed way possible? You've been around long enough to know threats will only make us double down. I had a timeline for when he could see you again, but you've knocked that back at least a month by trying to force my hand.

If you really want to see John, come at it from a position that might actually work.

And what would actually work? "Oh please sir, I promise I'll never be a bad girl again?" Fat chance.

A little patience would do you some good. Like I said: you earned John another month under my watch. I'm not going anywhere, and I like him. I like being around him. I'm happy to keep watching him all year. Split between everyone in my pack, it'd be easy to do.

Anyway, why not threaten Iris?

So, in other words, the only approach that would have worked was accepting it and not approaching you at all?

Nah. I'm not that fucking passive.

Not at all. I told you, I respond to compromises.

You've never had the luxury of making those, though, have you?

Where I'm from, if you're weak enough to need compromise you're weak enough for them to just beat you and take it all.

Besides, I have nothing to offer you. There is no money here.

You're not going to be able to take it all from us, and I genuinely don't want to take it all from you. Eventually he will need to be around you again. But not anytime soon.

Tell me this: where do you think we'd be willing to compromise with you?

I was willing to let you see him, as long as I was no more than a floor away. [Because he could hear them speaking or even whispering, even that far away, but she doesn't need to know that.]

John told me you said I couldn't see him at all. That's why I'm threatening you and not Iris.

What sort of person would I be if I shrugged off what you did? You want to be feared? Well, I am afraid. For John. And this is the result.

Come up with a decent proposal and I'll try to work out a compromise with you. Until then, no, you don't get to see him. We'll see how badly you want time with him. Do you want it more than you want to fight me on this?

Everyone else shrugged it off, why shouldn't you? I get it. You people don't think I'm a real threat. Whatever.

I have nothing to offer you, Lark, except to tell you that he makes me feel almost human and I hope I do the same for him. But maybe it's better for both him and myself if we lose that.

[If she only knew about the hour-long conference he'd put together specifically about how dangerous she is...]

Carol, the threat you pose is worse than whatever bullshit Envy pulls. You have to think and plan your way to get ahead, he gets bored because it's easy for him. If I didn't take you seriously I would be putting a lot of people in danger. I already failed Fitz because you think the only way to be safe is to be a bigger monster than anyone else, and Tess and I and every other warden underestimated that.

When you start acting human, when Fitz could recognize you as human, I'll stop worrying about you and John together.

[ She really misses Alejandro right now. He was the only one that seemed to get it, that even though she was technically human, she wasn't like most people. If she were to start acting human, it would be just that: an act, like a lion jumping hoops at the circus. Something she'd have to put in work for for everyone else's sake without ever being able to enjoy it.

She spoke with Tess at length about this. That she feels like she's outside and all anyone can do is help her pretend to be inside. No one can open the door. Not even John, but at least he's on the outside with her. At least they can touch. ]

I don't want to spend my life acting like I'm something I'm not. If that's what the Admiral wants from me, frankly, he should just let me go. If that's what you want me to do to get John back, you better tell him to let me go, too.

You don't spend every day trying to cut someone open. Why? Because most people have powers?

Either there's no good window of opportunity, or by some miracle no one's pissing me off today, or I'm not bored enough yet.

Say you have access to any weapon you want. And around here that means ridiculous weapons like laser beams.

Which one do you pick?

Probably a flamethrower. Hurts like hell and you can keep 'em alive for a good while if you control the burn.

It's about pain here, not death.

It doesn't bother you that, around here, that pain would probably be turned on you?

I don't like it, but I can't say it scares me much. It's just pain.

If the alternative is keeping my head down and becoming invisible again then I'll take all the pain anyone has to offer me.

Why be visible? It attracts trouble.

Because who wants to spend their entire life ignored and alone?

[Ah. That he understands.] And you only have John here?

I only have John anywhere.

[ Back home, she only had herself. ]

Not that no one else here has tried, but it's not easy to get through to me. I would've said it's impossible if not for John.

What makes him different from all the others who tried?

If I knew exactly what it was, I'd tell you. All I know is that I feel happy to be with him, even when we're not doing anything productive or useful.

[He's quiet for a long moment.] I'll keep that in mind.

I'm really not trying to make your life worse, Carol. But I'm not going to shrug off what you did. If no one else is going to make it right, then I will. And this is part of that.

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