"He won't." Alec thought he would, Lark is pretty sure. But Alec has a very well-hidden streak of loyalty. "And I'll be around until he's done; someone has to keep him out of trouble. What are you going to do as soon as you find out you've graduated?
"Leave," he says easily. "Say my goodbyes and then go. I have no reason to stick around. Besides, if I graduate before some of the people here, they might come for my head. Can you imagine if I graduated before Tess?"
He can picture that, in fact. "There was a mass murder right after I graduated which I doubt was related, but I'll still take credit for."
He sits back, smirking. "I'll never pressure you because Lord knows we both do things on our own time and it wouldn't help anyway, but I want you to graduate before Tess."
He laughs softly. He would love to see the look on her face. But that does remind him of something. He stands up, retrieving a small memory card from a drawer. "Take this and don't listen to it," he tells him.
"It's a recording of the conversation I had with Kazuma's daughter. He hasn't listened to it yet and doesn't want to. I made it private afterwards and I have a copy on my phone but if something happens to me and I disappear or graduate before he's ready to hear it, I want to make sure someone else has a copy."
He takes it and looks at it a moment before he slips it into one of the inner pockets of his jacket. "If the worst happens, what do you want me to do with it?"
"Okay." He's obviously curious about the conversation but just like he won't lie to Pagan, he won't breach that bit of confidence. "How are things with you two lately?"
"From him," he tells him. "The specific ones that I hate. About being redeemable. About having potential." The ones that have always been hard for him.
"I did at first," he points out. "It took me a while to believe you, you see. Believe that you meant it. And it's easier to believe with you. You're a shithead. Kazuma is - good."
"It's counterintuitive but now that I think about it, I'd be the same way. But then, Alec took two years to compliment me on anything but my looks," chuckling.
"Which is why, when I graduate, I might actually miss him."
It's the first time he's allowed himself to think of what's going to happen next. Later. They have have a great love affair here if they want, but Pagan will leave one day.
"I'm going to miss him even without being as close as you are," Lark nods slightly. "You'll find a lot of people assuming that you'll go to his world or he'll go to yours. People are naive in some ways."
Pagan sits back. "We haven't talked about it. It's not something to talk about until there is something to talk about."
He doesn't think that there has been enough to change his own trajectory and he wouldn't ask that of Kiryu.
"At least I know I'm not going to get anything but shit advice from most of the people around here if I ask questions," he points out, referring to his last public post.
"I think most people aren't used to you being serious. They can't tell the difference." A pause. "But most people here are also self-involved assholes and hypocrites. Did you get anything useful from it?"
He took what Lark told him, combined with the others, combined with what he knows is right. Clearly this is something he's been thinking of.
"I need to get rid of both Sabal and Amita without killing them. I need to actually listen to the Kyrati people. Perhaps hold true elections. Do a slow transference of power to elected officials."
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He sits back, smirking. "I'll never pressure you because Lord knows we both do things on our own time and it wouldn't help anyway, but I want you to graduate before Tess."
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"It's a recording of the conversation I had with Kazuma's daughter. He hasn't listened to it yet and doesn't want to. I made it private afterwards and I have a copy on my phone but if something happens to me and I disappear or graduate before he's ready to hear it, I want to make sure someone else has a copy."
He hands it over.
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"Fine," he finally says. "Actually. I've stopped feeling the need to argue with him every time he tries to say something nice."
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"Wouldn't he be a better judge than I am, then?"
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"Exactly why it took me so long to start believing him," he points out.
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"I don't believe him because he's good. Because good people aren't supposed to see me like that, Lark."
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It's the first time he's allowed himself to think of what's going to happen next. Later. They have have a great love affair here if they want, but Pagan will leave one day.
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He doesn't think that there has been enough to change his own trajectory and he wouldn't ask that of Kiryu.
"At least I know I'm not going to get anything but shit advice from most of the people around here if I ask questions," he points out, referring to his last public post.
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He knows what he needs to do.
Doesn't mean he wants to do it.
Doesn't mean he will do it.
But at least he knows what he needs to do.
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"I need to get rid of both Sabal and Amita without killing them. I need to actually listen to the Kyrati people. Perhaps hold true elections. Do a slow transference of power to elected officials."
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