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[ukan]

This is Lark Tennant, leave a message.

[Or a note, or a drop-by]

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[crab_rangoon]

He laughs softly. He would love to see the look on her face. But that does remind him of something. He stands up, retrieving a small memory card from a drawer. "Take this and don't listen to it," he tells him.

"It's a recording of the conversation I had with Kazuma's daughter. He hasn't listened to it yet and doesn't want to. I made it private afterwards and I have a copy on my phone but if something happens to me and I disappear or graduate before he's ready to hear it, I want to make sure someone else has a copy."

He hands it over.

[ukan]

He takes it and looks at it a moment before he slips it into one of the inner pockets of his jacket. "If the worst happens, what do you want me to do with it?"

[crab_rangoon]

"Give it to Kazuma. Force him to take it, if not listen to it." He sits back down and crosses his legs.

[ukan]

"Okay." He's obviously curious about the conversation but just like he won't lie to Pagan, he won't breach that bit of confidence. "How are things with you two lately?"

[crab_rangoon]

He takes a moment to think about it.

"Fine," he finally says. "Actually. I've stopped feeling the need to argue with him every time he tries to say something nice."

[ukan]

"You had a hard time with sincere compliments?" It's surprising, and it's not.

[crab_rangoon]

"From him," he tells him. "The specific ones that I hate. About being redeemable. About having potential." The ones that have always been hard for him.

[ukan]

Curious. "You've never really pushed back with me about those?"

[crab_rangoon]

"I did at first," he points out. "It took me a while to believe you, you see. Believe that you meant it. And it's easier to believe with you. You're a shithead. Kazuma is - good."

[ukan]

Shithead shouldn't be a compliment, and yet.

"Wouldn't he be a better judge than I am, then?"

[crab_rangoon]

It's absolutely a compliment.

"Exactly why it took me so long to start believing him," he points out.

[ukan]

"It's counterintuitive but now that I think about it, I'd be the same way. But then, Alec took two years to compliment me on anything but my looks," chuckling.

[crab_rangoon]

Pagan gives him a shake of his head. "Honestly, I don't see what he sees in you," he grins, playfully.

"I don't believe him because he's good. Because good people aren't supposed to see me like that, Lark."

[ukan]

A soft hum of agreement. "They aren't. And most of them don't. But Kiryu has seen enough of people like us to know the difference."

[crab_rangoon]

"Which is why, when I graduate, I might actually miss him."

It's the first time he's allowed himself to think of what's going to happen next. Later. They have have a great love affair here if they want, but Pagan will leave one day.

[ukan]

"I'm going to miss him even without being as close as you are," Lark nods slightly. "You'll find a lot of people assuming that you'll go to his world or he'll go to yours. People are naive in some ways."

[crab_rangoon]

Pagan sits back. "We haven't talked about it. It's not something to talk about until there is something to talk about."

He doesn't think that there has been enough to change his own trajectory and he wouldn't ask that of Kiryu.

"At least I know I'm not going to get anything but shit advice from most of the people around here if I ask questions," he points out, referring to his last public post.

[ukan]

"I think most people aren't used to you being serious. They can't tell the difference." A pause. "But most people here are also self-involved assholes and hypocrites. Did you get anything useful from it?"

[crab_rangoon]

"I have done what I can to cultivate an image here. They can hardly help it if I suddenly change on them," he admits. "And yes, I did."

He knows what he needs to do.

Doesn't mean he wants to do it.

Doesn't mean he will do it.

But at least he knows what he needs to do.

[ukan]

"As someone who is always out for things to learn, even from assholes, I have to ask what you learned."

[crab_rangoon]

He took what Lark told him, combined with the others, combined with what he knows is right. Clearly this is something he's been thinking of.

"I need to get rid of both Sabal and Amita without killing them. I need to actually listen to the Kyrati people. Perhaps hold true elections. Do a slow transference of power to elected officials."

[ukan]

"And then?" It's always Lark's question. Plan, organize, orchestrate. Always keep an eye ahead of that horizon.

[crab_rangoon]

He knows. And he has an answer.

"I'd stay on as a figurehead. Make sure that everything falls into line. And then I can retire."

He takes a breath.

"Check on Lakshmana and Ajay, but not in person. Make sure they're living a good life, wherever they ended up."

[ukan]

"I can see you as a figurehead," Lark says after he's thought about it. "I can see you being more beloved as one. Someone they might rally behind or trust even though your influence would be backstage to their elected officials."

[crab_rangoon]

Pagan just hesitates a moment. It's all so daunting and, honestly, he needs a moment to simply process it all in his head.

"Well. That is a while off still. I have to graduate first, don't I?"