Out of the blue? What was the context before then?
[And reluctantly, he adds:]
The only thing he knows is we both need space on a small ship. I told him that because I needed a place to sleep and he knows I have a nice cabin to myself. He didn't ask for more detail.
[Lark is still getting used to it. He had been prepared for a fight, not for this.
And he can't think of anything to ask that wouldn't step over that unspoken, invisible line. But the thought of just leaving it here, a handful of texts in, is like a weight in his gut. So fuck it; Alec can just ignore it if he doesn't want to answer.]
What are the chances the Admiral will take us somewhere nice?
[It's why he chose text; if he heard Lark, if he saw him, if he didn't have to think about what he was typing as a response, if they were standing in front of one another, chances are he would have fought anyway.
And he almost ignores this, too, but as far as that line goes, well. Yes, Alec opened the questioning partially with intent to find out what Lark had told Scott about him. But the other part - because Alec never does anything for one reason only - was because he wanted to know if he had missed something. If he should be more concerned about where he and Lark left things than he is, for Lark's sake.
So.]
Reminder that you're asking someone who thinks the Barge itself is nice most of the time.
10 to 1, with a related side bet of 2 to 1 that his bad driving ends us somewhere terrible by accident.
I forfeit. Or call for a draw. Or postpone. You are champion rule maker.
[He doesn't want Alec to go. But the point of all of this on his end is to unearth things that might otherwise creep up on him, that might be used against him. He has wanted to chase and play with Alec from day one, and he can't do that now. It takes him too far from what he's trying to accomplish.
Maybe if he does this right, he can go back to the bantering and the tusseling. If he does this right and manages to do it quickly, maybe Alec will be there at the end. Maybe Alec will allow him to be there.
Pay attention, don't fuck it up. It's the only motto he has right now.]
[It's the uncharacteristic forfeit that reminds Alec that he was the one who drew that invisible line between them; on his end, he doesn't know what the point of all this is, he only knows that he's getting closer to Lark and closer to an edge he can't see the bottom of at equal, direct progress to one another. He doesn't think it's related, not really, or at least not at fault; but he does find himself wondering if he would be so desperate to be near Lark if everything else weren't happening as well. That, and he might have a cruel streak grooved down the center of his very soul, it might be one of the many, many scars he walked away from Manticore with that no one can actually see, but it doesn't mean he wants to force Lark to go through it... whatever this is brewing under his skin.
There's another long pause, while Alec in the darkened infirmary sets the communicator aside and stares at it on his desk, stares through it; he doesn't know if he's hoping it's a long enough delay that Lark will go back to whatever he was doing. Will fall asleep waiting, maybe, as unlikely as that is.]
[ He almost does, actually. The only reason he's still awake is that Lark is not sleeping well lately and so he fills his time with plans, projects, things he'll never really do but that keep his mind busy. ]
The harpy cuts aren't healing on other people.
[ And he's worried about Alec's. But it's too strange to say that, especially over text. ]
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[And reluctantly, he adds:]
The only thing he knows is we both need space on a small ship. I told him that because I needed a place to sleep and he knows I have a nice cabin to myself. He didn't ask for more detail.
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It's strange, realizing he believes someone - even Lark - without having to stop and check himself.]
Okay.
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And he can't think of anything to ask that wouldn't step over that unspoken, invisible line. But the thought of just leaving it here, a handful of texts in, is like a weight in his gut. So fuck it; Alec can just ignore it if he doesn't want to answer.]
What are the chances the Admiral will take us somewhere nice?
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And he almost ignores this, too, but as far as that line goes, well. Yes, Alec opened the questioning partially with intent to find out what Lark had told Scott about him. But the other part - because Alec never does anything for one reason only - was because he wanted to know if he had missed something. If he should be more concerned about where he and Lark left things than he is, for Lark's sake.
So.]
Reminder that you're asking someone who thinks the Barge itself is nice most of the time.
10 to 1, with a related side bet of 2 to 1 that his bad driving ends us somewhere terrible by accident.
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Proposal: if it's somewhere with monsters then we tackle it together, go back to taking a break when the Barge departs again.
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I can accept those terms.
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And excuse you I have varied tastes. My current standard of nice: hot tub no warden has access to.
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Rule: cannot use me as evidence. For obvious reasons.
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[He doesn't want Alec to go. But the point of all of this on his end is to unearth things that might otherwise creep up on him, that might be used against him. He has wanted to chase and play with Alec from day one, and he can't do that now. It takes him too far from what he's trying to accomplish.
Maybe if he does this right, he can go back to the bantering and the tusseling. If he does this right and manages to do it quickly, maybe Alec will be there at the end. Maybe Alec will allow him to be there.
Pay attention, don't fuck it up. It's the only motto he has right now.]
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There's another long pause, while Alec in the darkened infirmary sets the communicator aside and stares at it on his desk, stares through it; he doesn't know if he's hoping it's a long enough delay that Lark will go back to whatever he was doing. Will fall asleep waiting, maybe, as unlikely as that is.]
I just needed to know.
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The harpy cuts aren't healing on other people.
[ And he's worried about Alec's. But it's too strange to say that, especially over text. ]
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No, they're not. Mine either.
But they hurt less.
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Tell me if they get worse?
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[This isn't the separation, though; this is just Alec.
Alec, trying to be honest.]
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Okay. But if something serious happens and I find out secondhand I'll actually be angry.
[ Not frustrated angry, not worried angry, but wolf-instinct angry. ]
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[ Maybe things like making it harder for the Admiral to resurrect them. ]
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