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[Week 1 of having a sidekick wolf and Trevor isn't....not liking it. He mostly just does as he always does; bother Adrian, bother Hunter and Rags and Taylor, cook food, eat food, sleep. In between at least he has Lucy, his new puppy, who seems determined to get Trevor out of his tired, sad funks sometimes. She's already gained five pounds and he's insistent on carrying her everywhere in a sling, even when she wriggles and whines about it.

He doesn't stay up on deck anymore, though. That greenhouse explosion has him wary that the whole ship's about to implode. Hence, Lucy is currently bound up to his back as he works in the library, the door shut in one of the reading rooms, pasting together another book he recognized and adopted into the Family Pile.]

Hey.

You said you wanted to know everything, right?

Yeah. [He sets his book down. It's dry reading: just about water purifiers and how to build and maintain them.] What's on your mind?

[He cracks his neck a little, sore from leaning over the books. God, he doesn't know how Alucard or Sypha loves this]

I got permission from Norton to let you know there's an inmate pub. He was surprised you hadn't heard about it, but then again, you don't drink.

I can't tell you how to find it or how to enter it once you find it.

[It wouldn't be impossible to track down. But he remembers being an inmate, the little secrets that were kept because otherwise the lack of control would drive him mad.]

What goes on there? Just drinking?

All of the one time I was there? Yeah. Drinking. It's not - if I saw anything, I'dve stopped it happening.

Anyway.

I might go off on my own to get a drink. Would look suspicious if you came along with.

[He's silent for a long time. For a minute it seems he'll probably say 'no'.]

Okay. If you end up having to stop anything in there, let me know who it was and what happened. I'm trying to keep track of the violence, who's causing it. Basic information, I won't need to act on it as long as you can keep it contained.

[Trevor, if he's surprised, doesn't show it. He only nods once, giving a weary smile. God, it's like a mother hen trying to sit on too many chicks]

All right. You get that I don't care about wardens and inmates, right? But lots of people here do and I think if the ones who gave a shit knew I was talking to you about their secret drinking cubby, they'd lash out.

I know.

We had a secret fight club when I was an inmate. That and other things. [A smirk] I don't care about a speakeasy as long as no one's using it to hurt anyone else.

Secret fight club?

[oh no don’t give him ideas]

It didn't last. You can't hide injuries from the wardens. And you definitely can't hide it from me.

I wasn’t going to hide them.

…although come to think of it, I walked around with a broken arm my first month here and no one said anything until you found me in that well.

[He looks so tired. So exhausted.] I know. You see why I don't get any sleep? You see how much slack I have to carry?

It wasn’t a slight against you - I’m only saying that you have this idea that people are supposed to give a shit and I’m here to tell you that most don’t.

[He sighs] They are supposed to care. They chose to be here, they're here to do a goddamn job.

It's why I came back. If I can get even a few wardens to work a little harder, to do anything outside their pairing, they'll pass it on to other wardens coming in. I can go home and rest easy that at least I worked my ass off trying to make things better than I had it.

Who says they’re supposed to care?

I get the part where they come here, they make a deal with a shadowy figure who fucks them over as well as his prisoners, they get a blood pact and leave. Didn’t hear any mention about needing to give a shit about what happens to that prisoner.

[Another long sigh] I didn't care about ethics before I came here, you know. But now I hate every single warden who sits on their ass and lets their inmate do all the work.

[he snorts, and leans back in his chair, holding Lucy at his chest]

Well, the inmate’s got more to lose. What should a warden be doing different?

I had so many wardens that any time I was paired with one, knowing I could either count on them to do nothing or to be talked into letting me do anything, it made me worse. I graduated alone, but it took ten years.

A warden actually making me own up to the shit I was pulling would have helped. But they didn't. I took part in two mutinies. I tore a girl's throat out to punish a warden for not listening to me. I murdered people, I even killed my best friend's inmate and stashed her body so no one could revive her. I never faced any consequences. No one did anything about it.

Wardens who sit it out and put their feet up aren't just dead weight, they are actively harmful. All they have to do is reach out and pay attention.

Okay. That’s your point of view.

Now here’s mine:

Whenever you say “wardens” and “inmates”, you’re just playing into a game here. You might want to say “people”. You tore a girl’s throat out because you were angry you weren’t being listened to, and if you did that in front of me, I would have stopped you. Not because I was a warden or an inmate but because you were being an evil fucker and I kill evil fuckers. It’s my job. I don’t ask anyone else to do my job for me.

Maybe you’ve got some ideas about what a warden should or shouldn’t be, but all I give a shit about is if you’re killing people. You’re applying some high standards to humans and others in general. But people are going to let you down almost every time and it’s going to wear you so fucking thin if you keep expecting human - sorry, sapient - nature to change. I’m here to tell you we mostly don’t.

Edited (Phone tagging whoops) 2022-01-13 23:16 (UTC)

[He listens. Gradually there's a fond smile.]

Alec's been telling me the same thing. And you're both right. Mostly right.

Tell me what werewolves are like where you're from?

[Trevor has yet to hear a pronoun to relate back to Alec. Thus he’ll be in for a surprise to find out Alec is a man. Here, he only nods]

Well, they’re nothing like you, for one thing. All manners and ethics. You’re more like Alucard, who can both turn into a wolf and harass me with long -worded conversation.

[He’s joking, if poorly]

Werewolves are more like Wolf Men but there’s different kinds. The ones I’ve fought are about eight feet tall, insane muscle structure, kind of the body of a man and the head, teeth and claws of a wolf. The whip I had was inlaid with silver and that usually took care of them.

What else? I used to remember reading about a dark lord of lycanthropes somewhere. Maybe I’ll find that book here.

Edited 2022-01-13 23:33 (UTC)

In my world, we can all change at will. But there's a steep cost. Every sensation is heightened. Hunger makes us vicious, lust is constant, anger turns into rage. We're slaves to our senses. We live maybe five years after being turned because we just can't control ourselves, we're too violent and too impulsive.

I saw another way. My packs don't indulge in cruelty. We don't devour more than we need. We have goals, and we meet them, and we do it quietly. Half of us still hold jobs in the human world.

I don't have to change human nature. I just have to give it a direction and let it gain momentum. If I could do it with wolves, I can do it here.

[He gives a rough chuckle. Christ, yeah; sounds very similar to newly-turned werewolves and vampires]

You all sound like the vampires out west. Trying to live peacefully with humans, for a given value of peace.

Wolves are easier than humans. Hate to be the one to tell you that.

[He cups a hand around Lucy, who wants to be put down]

Or you, you great furry oaf.

I like a challenge. [He glances at his book, thinks about how many supplies he'll need to make it work.] I don't expect to make a lasting difference. There's too much change here, too few people stay.

But while I'm here, things will be better than they were.

[He starts to reach a hand out to Lucy but stops.] I think she's getting used to me. [He has no idea if that's true, he just hopes she is.]

[Trevor holds Lucy out for Lark to take]

Go on.

Well, just so long as we're all being realistic.

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