ukan | IC CONTACT

What does it mean for you and Martin that he's here now?

One more person on board who hates me?

Mostly I… wanted to give you a heads up.

[ There’s a note to his voice that says ‘I have no fucking clue’ because he’s panicking hard enough he’s not even sure what he’s panicking about. ]

[Gently, but he's very much in 'discover and plan' mode.] Give me the background.

Tim was one of my original assistants, when I took the job. There was… friction, of course, and he wasn’t the only one; there was someone else who most people thought would get it and me being asked was a surprise for everyone. But he still took the position with me down there and things were… genial enough before we found Gertrude’s body and it became clear that she’d been murdered.

I… didn’t handle it well. I’ve told you before, Lark: I’m a coward. And when it became clear that my predecessor had been murdered, I closed myself off. I started trying to find out who’d done it, whether the people around me had had any part in it, if they were targeting me next. I fully admit to stalking people, looking through their desks, checking after their CVs, all of it. Something was wrong, someone wasn’t being honest. When he found out about my suspicions, he was livid. And hurt.

Well.. it turned out my boss had murdered her, that Sasha wasn’t our friend Sasha but a monster playing imposter. Shorterly after I found that out, I was framed for the murder of Jurgen Leitner and we were all a bit disconnected; I was in the wind and Elias was being especially awful to him and the others and honestly by the second or third time I was kidnapped, I came back to him reckless and completely unable to trust anyone.

[ He breathes out. ]

The only reason he trusts me is because he knows I’m a shit liar and he knows that our mutual jailer values me so I have to be real.

In your place I would have done the same thing. I have done the same thing. [Followed people, dug into their secrets, kept tabs on the people who still mattered to them, monitored their cash flows.]

No one, especially in your line of work, should expect blind, unwavering trust. He's an idiot if he can't understand your fear. And if he's that naive, I'm going to tell you bluntly that you don't need his trust, and you are not a coward for doing things that upset him.

[ There's no answer for a bit. ]

...I'm not sure I can go back to my cabin. He and Martin are... they're actually close. And I don't-

He just got here. I don't want to poison things for him, or get in the way of one of the few friendships Martin cares about.

I'm just sitting in my office in the library. Which... I'd invite you to, but it smells a bit like sick from earlier. Would you forgive me if I used your dog bed for a pillow for the night?

Why sick? [This is the Barge. There could be a hundred reasons; Lark doesn't assume.

But it's also more polite than saying he's a big ol' dog in a human skin, Jon, he isn't bothered by certain smells like humans are.]

Because I may have said a few things to him before he left and then, uh... deposited my lunch in the waste bin once he was gone.

Said things that I assume weren't friendly? [This is the roundabout way of asking what Jon is thinking, or was at the time.]

...oh I can let you hear it if you like. As per bloody usual, there was a recorder on.

[ Which is when there's the sound of a tape recorder button being pressed, some rewinding, a moment of Jon saying 'bullshit' before there's more rewinding and then Lark will get to hear the more heated part of the conversation, starting with the sound of Jon getting punched in the face.

He's silent afterwards, clearly unsure of what Lark will think of the whole thing. And reasonably certain he's going to be mad about the stabbing bit if he figures it out. Then again, he might as well have Lark mad at him. It'll complete the no doubt trifecta for the evening.]

[Lark isn't mad. Truthfully he's disdainful of Tim the way he's disdainful of all people who put emotion ahead of global safety; who would rather cry about trust than acknowledge there are more important things.

He's willing to tell Jon when he's wrong but in this case he doesn't think Jon is. Which just leaves him free to feel the same instinctive, protective affection he has for his (very, very few) close friends.]

You've never told me much about Elias.

[Except once, and that had been along the lines of 'you might like this guy, Lark'. He knows Jon wouldn't say it now because nowadays it would be an insult.]

[ If Lark doesn't think that Jon's anxiety doesn't remember saying that and beat himself up about it at least once a week, Lark has a much kinder idea of Jon's mental health than is strictly accurate. He hadn't known the depths of Elias's awfulness and depravity then. He'd known him as being clever and secretive and knowledgeable then.

Now, the two are night and day. Elias is... everything he hates. Lark is one of the people he feels safest around. ]

...probably because my feelings on the man aren't fit for print. And largely consist of foul language.

[ There's a short pause, then. ]

You're... not going to yell at me about the, er, stabbing bit?

[Softly:] If I'm reading that situation right, yelling at you is the last thing you need.

[ There's a very wet chuckle there. ] I think you're one of the few people who've ever much cared what I need.

That seems to be a plague for world saviors, doesn't it? Everyone takes for granted you don't need anything.

I don't think it counts when you're the one who doomed it in the first place, hmm?

You're asking the wrong man, Jon. But if you still want my opinion: yes, it still counts to me. You went through hell to fix your mistakes.

Edited 2021-08-06 04:39 (UTC)

[ There's a pause for a moment before he breathes out slow, audibly. ]

It was my responsibility.

[ And a breath in and his tone is just a little wet still, but he's clearly gotten some of his spirit back. ]

So... how has your day been?

Better than yours has been, apparently. [Aside from fighting with Alec and not having any idea how to resolve the things that were unearthed.]

Is he the type to judge your friends for siding with you?

As in Martin or the people here? Because he's always been soft on Martin, for as long as I've known him.

Those here, though... I don't have the first idea how he's going to take this place. I doubt anyone inhuman is going to be treated all that gently, though.

[ Sigh. ]

He is very good at appearances, however, much better than I am. So who knows.

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