ukan | IC CONTACT

I expressed a concern about him, and you said you noticed the same thing.

[ You can't notice something like that if you're not around somebody. ]

The two of you have been playing nice, I hope.

[ Teasing, of course. ]

[Archer. This is one thing he appreciates about you: you're really fucking observant.]

I think we've buried the hatchet, yeah. I realized my attitude wasn't helpful, we discussed some goals we both share and want to work towards.

Obviously if you two split in the same ugly way I'm used to seeing at home with rich divorcees, I'm in your camp, but until then I think I could start to like him.

[ 'Rich divorcees'? Archer bursts out laughing. ]

Lark - in what way do either of us resemble the couples you knew back home?

You're his arm candy, clearly! [Completely teasing.

But more seriously:] Everyone has a honeymoon phase. I'm more paranoid about other people's than I was about mine; I can't help it. I'm that sort of hypocrite.

[ Wow, Lark, this comparison keeps getting better. ]

'Arm candy'? Really?

[ He has never thought of himself this way, literally ever. He can't help a chuckle, though. ]

I think we're a few thousands years too old for a 'honeymoon phase', but I appreciate the thought all the same.

[Lark might only be fifty but you aren't fooling him.] You're never too old for that. It's a key part of romantic bonding.

[ Archer just smiles and sips on his coffee. ]

Well, I won't say I'm an expert at 'romantic bonding'.

[ Quite the opposite, frankly. ]

Age does make a difference, though.

That I wouldn't know much about. I didn't fall in love for the first time until I was nearly forty. I hear you're supposed to get the painful ones out of the way in your youth.

Honestly, it’s just as well you didn’t. Romance in the teenage years was...ridiculous and painful. At least for me.

[ He gets embarrassed just thinking about it. ]

This has been decidedly less so.

[It was plenty painful loving Lisbeth or the girl whose name he still can't say out loud. Those are marks deeper than any of the bad decisions he made leading up to them. But he nods because yeah, it's different when it's better.]

Well, after so many years you two are probably too old and tired to throw drinks at each other's faces in a fight. If no one would make a reality show about you back home, you're doing something right.

[ Archer laughs quietly at that. ]

‘Old and tired’ is a fair description, honestly.

What we do most of the time isn’t particularly interesting, either, so I can’t imagine it’d be camera-worthy.

[A wry smile] It's the same for me, honestly. And Alec is too young to have the same excuses I do. [Speaking of arm candy and old men!] There's a lot to be said for just sharing the same space.

...Have you thought about what you'll do when Xigbar does graduate?

It sounds like Alec’s experiences could have contributed to that, no?

[ Archer knows firsthand how living through certain things at a young age can change you. As for the question, he leans back for a moment and just seems...thoughtful. ]

I think about it periodically, but at this point, I think I’ll just stay. Perhaps long enough to give away a deal or two until I’m certain where — and when — I want to end up.

Partly that. He's more adventurous than I am, though. [but it often butts up against the fact that if Alec stood out as a soldier, he'd be killed and carved up for parts.]

I'm glad you'll stick around. Not that I'm biased, of course.

[ Archer smiles wryly at that. ]

Ah. Youth.

[ He takes a sip of coffee. ]

You are biased. [ He says it matter-of-factly. ] What about you? Do you think you'll ever retire from this?

"Yeah. I'm trying to get done everything I came here for, but I think once Pagan is graduated Alec is going to insist we go home." A faint sigh.

"If I don't have someone to get me out I'll never leave. Just between us, I don't know if I remember how to be at home anymore without working twice as hard as I did before the barge."

Archer considers this news quietly. It takes a moment for him to parse how he feels about it too, since he hasn’t had a friend he could actually miss in a very long time. He doesn’t think he likes it, either - the imminent sense of loss.

It doesn’t show on his face, of course - or at least, he tries not to let it. For some reason, he assumed Lark would always be here, but that is simply silliness on his part. He puffs out a soft breath.

“You’ve been here quite a while. You deserve to live your life.” If anyone’s earned it, Lark has. “Are things so much less interesting back home that you want to work that much?”

He chuckles. "I keep very busy. But there were things I wanted to do here, to influence here to the better. I couldn't leave the idea alone." A slow inhale. "And I have a hard time with certain things at home. Telling how much time has passed. Sometimes having trouble remembering that death is permanent, that I have one shot at a lot of things. Being here won't make that any better but it's...familiar. Comforting in a twisted way."

Archer hums softly at that. "Anything can become familiar or comforting if enough time passes." And that isn't necessarily a good thing. "Does Alec have similar difficulties?"

"No. He's a soldier...he's felt all his life that he was only going to last a little while. I don't think he expected to see twenty-five, let alone thirty years." A wistful fondness in his eyes. "So he soaks up life. He's ravenous for it. It's what I first loved about him. I try to change things; he just enjoys them."

Archer’s eyes crinkle a little at that, though he doesn’t quite smile.

“We could both stand to be a little more like him, I think. I never planned to live to a ripe, old age, but I didn’t enjoy my life, either.”

He finds himself feeling happy now sometimes — most often when he’s with Godric, Lark, or doing simple things he likes — but it’s still a foreign feeling.

"Do you wish you hadn't lived such a long life?" Lark wonders. "Wolves don't really get the option. I didn't plan to live past forty, if I was lucky. I had moments where I wondered if I'd run out of things to do if I lived too long, and then I worried I'd leave so much undone that I'd spend my dying moments feeling bitter."

Archer lets out a short, humorless breath of a laugh.

“I didn’t live a long life, Lark. I’ve existed for a long time, but servitude in death isn’t anything like life at all.”

It’s just death. Death stretching on forever in every direction.

“Do you still feel that way?”

"I'm sure I'll be angry when I die," he says, smirking. "But I don't want to die early. I don't want to be resigned to it anymore."

Lark Tennant, when determined, tends to get his way. He isn't sure how to fight death, though.

"If you went home, would you be trapped in servitude again?"

Archer falls silent for a moment. His answer, when it comes, is soft and solemn.

“Yes. If I leave here without my deal, I will return to that.”

A beat, then-

“I don’t think I’ll ever go back to my world, though. Not even with my freedom intact.”

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