It was during my first year and I've been home and back twice since then. I doubt it's the same for wardens, but for inmates our heads usually can't handle two lives at once--details get blurred.
I remember that there were controls. I remember there was a...a door. [He is trying very hard to remember. He's been trying for a long time.] The bridge was empty. Arthas wasn't deterred by that; he must have believed the Admiral could be reached through the- was it a door? A portal.
[This is perfect, and it's exactly what Steve, for all his good intentions, hadn't been able to give her. She wants a plan for this and Lark is her best bet.]
Could you draw it? I have paper and pencils and seeing it like you did will help if I have to rewire something when this happens.
[She brings him into the main section of the ship, lets him sit at the holochess table so he'll have somewhere to work, and stays standing herself. She's not good at being still when she's trying to think things through.]
Alfie needs to go home. I'll- figure out the rest after that happens.
Maybe he should stop blowing things up for a start.
[Alfie: Not Lark's favorite person. He starts drawing for Alfie's warden anyway.]
There's a chance--and don't think I'm lecturing you, because I'm not--that you could be demoted for this. Are you sure you want to risk being trapped here, even if Alfie goes free?
[There are a lot of reasons, to Rey, why that's acceptable. Alfie has given up hope, that the space his head is in is a dark, impossible place. She knows that he may never forgive her for acting like a warden when he chose to act out, and she knows that even if she is stuck here, if Alfie isn't it will all be worth it.
But the state of Alfie's mind is not Rey's to tell, so Lark doesn't get the full reasoning. But he does get the truth, because no matter what their relationship has been since she's been on the ship they're on the same side now.]
If this goes right, no one will ever be trapped here again and I think that's worth it. And anyway, it's no worse than being trapped on Jakku. At least there's usually enough food to eat here.
[It's the sort of answer he expects from her, and he's glad to hear it now. She means what she says. He likes that about her.]
Well, right now we're just in the intel phase. We need to get people on our side without blowing our cover to those who would oppose us. And we need to know more. The rest of the plan will adapt with what we learn.
...This isn't right. [Frowning at his drawing. He starts on another piece of paper.]
I'm going to speak to Poe as well, but he's done missions like this before, he knows how to keep quiet and if someone needs to fly this ship I'm sure it'll take more than one pilot. He's the best the Resistance has, and BB-8 might be able to interface with the ship in some way.
[That's a lot of guessing, but it's better than nothing and with Rey and her ability to use the Force there's got to be some way for them to break through.
She reaches for his first page, too, and looks it over to get a feel for the basics. He'll fine tune, but this is a very good start. The more he draws, though, the more she watches his frown, a truly terrible idea starts to form in her head.]
If you- [But she finds herself stopping, stuck, and she has to force herself to try again with a frustrated sigh.] I might know a way to make this easier.
"Probably not," she answers honestly. "I'm not going to like it and I hope you're going to say no, but it might be the best way to do this."
But it's something she doesn't like, not without it being something she comes to the decision on without being forced to in this way. She shifts, clearly uncomfortable, but this is worth it and so she's going to go through with bringing it up.
"Tommy and I, when we were- what we were, he used to let me look into his head. I could talk to him like that, and if he thought very hard about things I could see them."
And Lark can probably see where she's going with this.
He'd known on some level that she has this ability. What surprises him is that she doesn't like having it.
"I want to say yes." It's almost an apology. "I am saying yes. But you need to understand that I've had my mind...not looked at, but under someone else's influence. And I've never put myself in a position where anyone could do that to me again. I don't know how the- the animal in me will react."
"I have had it happen to me," she tells him, and that might clear it up. "By Kylo Ren. He did it against my will and it felt like a hot knife clawing through my head. But I know how to do it so it won't hurt you. It never hurt Tommy."
And as for the danger...
"If something goes wrong, I should feel you pulling away and I'll stop. If I don't and you attack me, I have medical supplies here and I heal quickly. I'm not afraid of getting hurt. This is too important for that."
For all their abrasive interactions, there are times Lark sees what Tommy saw in her. There are also times he thinks she was too good for him. Now, for example; it's rare to find someone with any compassion in them. Rarer still when they are capable of doing what needs to be done, without losing that empathetic core.
"I don't want to hurt you." This isn't a way of backing out, it's just something he needs her to know. He has no problem hurting most people; he would have an issue hurting her.
It's a relief, honestly, that he says yes. They have so little to go on that as unappealing as this is, it really is their best option and she's going to grab for with both hands. Finally she comes to sit with him, because the nearness might help and it's usually easier when she isn't moving.
"We can start with something small. I'll show you something instead of taking anything so it's not- invasive. Just close your eyes and tell me when you're ready."
He isn't sure he'll ever be ready for this. All he has to go on here is the hope that Rey is really capable of safely doing this, and that she won't take advantage when Lark couldn't stop her from finding anything she wanted--or that she won't turn him into the passionately devoted soldier he'd once been to someone else with this power.
It takes a long time, a half hour at least, and a lot of deep but shaky breaths, before he feels like he can handle this. He has to handle this. "Okay."
She doesn't rush him. She doesn't even fidget while he adjusts to the idea, while he breathes and tries to relax, and she knows her presence is very rarely a soothing one but she does her best to stay relaxed herself, open to him, soft, and when he finally gives her the okay she nods and closes her eyes.
And for all the preparation he'd needed, the image she gives him is benign, harmless. It's BB-8 in the sand on Jakku, beeping at her sweetly while she fixes his bent antennae. It's only a few seconds, barely a flash, and nothing about it is painful or frightening.
Lark has never had any sort of attachment to machines. He's had nice cars, expensive appliances, sure. He even had a phone that, some said, would someday be able to talk back to him. But those were just metal and plastic and rubber, filled with wires and computer chips.
BB-8 has changed his opinion, even though the only interaction they've had was when Lark inadvertently insulted him. The flash in his mind is there just long enough to elicit a sense of curiosity and bewilderment and fondness in Lark: the same tangle of emotions he always feels toward BB-8.
"No," he can say that without having to pause to check himself over. It was there and gone too fast to feel alien, and the overall feel of it was pleasant. "Is the rest going to be like that?"
"Yes, we'll just be sharing images. I won't take anything, you'll just think of the bridge as you saw it and I'll draw what you show me. We can start with something easier first if that would help you get used to it. You could just think of- what you ate for breakfast."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text
text
Something that Steve talked to me about. You can come to the Falcon if that's something that will make this easier on you.
text
[Because he has never, ever liked discussing work over the network. Not after that time all the filters vanished.
True to his word, it's only a few minutes before he's there.]
no subject
He asked me to help with his plan, and said that you were the one that's seen the bridge. I'd like to know everything you can tell me.
[No point wasting time.]
no subject
I remember that there were controls. I remember there was a...a door. [He is trying very hard to remember. He's been trying for a long time.] The bridge was empty. Arthas wasn't deterred by that; he must have believed the Admiral could be reached through the- was it a door? A portal.
no subject
Could you draw it? I have paper and pencils and seeing it like you did will help if I have to rewire something when this happens.
no subject
[But once he has the paper and a pencil in hand he looks up at her]
You know if you help Steve, you might lose your deal. The Admiral can't be happy with traitors.
no subject
Alfie needs to go home. I'll- figure out the rest after that happens.
no subject
[Alfie: Not Lark's favorite person. He starts drawing for Alfie's warden anyway.]
There's a chance--and don't think I'm lecturing you, because I'm not--that you could be demoted for this. Are you sure you want to risk being trapped here, even if Alfie goes free?
no subject
But the state of Alfie's mind is not Rey's to tell, so Lark doesn't get the full reasoning. But he does get the truth, because no matter what their relationship has been since she's been on the ship they're on the same side now.]
If this goes right, no one will ever be trapped here again and I think that's worth it. And anyway, it's no worse than being trapped on Jakku. At least there's usually enough food to eat here.
no subject
Well, right now we're just in the intel phase. We need to get people on our side without blowing our cover to those who would oppose us. And we need to know more. The rest of the plan will adapt with what we learn.
...This isn't right. [Frowning at his drawing. He starts on another piece of paper.]
no subject
[That's a lot of guessing, but it's better than nothing and with Rey and her ability to use the Force there's got to be some way for them to break through.
She reaches for his first page, too, and looks it over to get a feel for the basics. He'll fine tune, but this is a very good start. The more he draws, though, the more she watches his frown, a truly terrible idea starts to form in her head.]
If you- [But she finds herself stopping, stuck, and she has to force herself to try again with a frustrated sigh.] I might know a way to make this easier.
no subject
no subject
But it's something she doesn't like, not without it being something she comes to the decision on without being forced to in this way. She shifts, clearly uncomfortable, but this is worth it and so she's going to go through with bringing it up.
"Tommy and I, when we were- what we were, he used to let me look into his head. I could talk to him like that, and if he thought very hard about things I could see them."
And Lark can probably see where she's going with this.
no subject
"I want to say yes." It's almost an apology. "I am saying yes. But you need to understand that I've had my mind...not looked at, but under someone else's influence. And I've never put myself in a position where anyone could do that to me again. I don't know how the- the animal in me will react."
no subject
And as for the danger...
"If something goes wrong, I should feel you pulling away and I'll stop. If I don't and you attack me, I have medical supplies here and I heal quickly. I'm not afraid of getting hurt. This is too important for that."
no subject
"I don't want to hurt you." This isn't a way of backing out, it's just something he needs her to know. He has no problem hurting most people; he would have an issue hurting her.
"What do I need to do?"
no subject
"We can start with something small. I'll show you something instead of taking anything so it's not- invasive. Just close your eyes and tell me when you're ready."
no subject
It takes a long time, a half hour at least, and a lot of deep but shaky breaths, before he feels like he can handle this. He has to handle this. "Okay."
no subject
And for all the preparation he'd needed, the image she gives him is benign, harmless. It's BB-8 in the sand on Jakku, beeping at her sweetly while she fixes his bent antennae. It's only a few seconds, barely a flash, and nothing about it is painful or frightening.
no subject
BB-8 has changed his opinion, even though the only interaction they've had was when Lark inadvertently insulted him. The flash in his mind is there just long enough to elicit a sense of curiosity and bewilderment and fondness in Lark: the same tangle of emotions he always feels toward BB-8.
no subject
"Did that bother you?"
no subject
no subject
Something equally small, and not at all personal.
no subject
(no subject)