spam; the last journal post

[ukan]

[Getting on board was a moment of chaos. He remembers turning a corner, expecting to find fur and blood in his mouth, expecting maybe to get torn up in return, expecting maybe a bullet from above to take him down, too-

But instead he's somewhere metal, somewhere that smells of strangers and strangeness, and he's bleeding a trail but he runs for safety anyway. If there is any. If there are doors, anywhere, that he can open without changing back, because this has to be the FBI's work and so long as they think he's just a wolf, maybe they won't slit him open and poke around inside.]



[ooc: Lark is a wolf, for now. He'll have to change back sooner or later even if he doesn't want to, so feel free to tag him as human or wolf, just lemme know which.]

Comments

[bleak_midwinter]

You've made quite the study of the people here.

[So has he-- it's not a reproach. Just one more bit of study.]

[ukan]

You know what they say. Fool me once, shame on you. Stab me in the back, shame on me.

[He suspects Tommy knows all about that sort of watchfulness]

You're obviously not wandering around here with the rose-coloured glasses some of your coworkers have. What have you noticed?

[bleak_midwinter]

Is that what they say? [He has to push down on the urge to light another cigarette, because it could be construed as nervous instead of just a craving-- and he doesn't want a man like Lark to have that on him.]

I've noticed that there's just as much violence in this prison as there is home.

[ukan]

It comes in waves. The violence is less constant here than where I'm from, but it tends to be more personal. The cost of living in a communal fishbowl.

[He breathes in night (or just space?) air, and gets a whiff of opium again.] I can never decide if poppies remind me of the Netherlands or of decay, more. We used to have men who dealt in that, you know. As well as some things stronger, some things milder. Or does the Admiral supply it nowadays?

[bleak_midwinter]

[He doesn't blanch, exactly, but he raises his eyes and meets Lark's, slowly but surely. His heart is beating in his chest as if he's a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Back home- yes, John knew, and Danny knew because Danny thought he was a shell and used the stuff himself.

It's a weakness, and more than the cigarettes he hadn't needed Lark to know about th is.]

I believe what the Admiral and I get up to is none of your business, Lark.

[ukan]

No one lives to be like you are if they believe other people's business is off limits.

[He gives him a sly look and leans a little closer, listening to the thump of Tommy's heart.]

I have a special interest in knowing where and how the Wardens are most likely to fuck up.

[bleak_midwinter]

[He doesn't look away, keeps eye contact and tilts his chin up- defiance, strength, whichever will get the message across. He's faced worse than this man. But his heart is taking its time slowing down.]

And now you think you've come to an understanding about me.

[ukan]

No.

[He's a lawyer but not usually a liar. Not when the truth gets him more.]

But here's what I do understand about you, Tommy. You don't have a file for us all to read, which seems to make you think that your life is your own to guard as you like. I understand that you've bought into the idea that the Admiral gives what he promises, which means a part of you must be close to desperate.

I understand that tobacco doesn't cover opium as well as you thought. And I understand that right now... [a pause; he looks at Tommy's neck, where that pulse is hammering] your heart is beating almost twice as fast as it should even if you are addicted to nicotine.

[bleak_midwinter]

[He raises his eyebrows, rolls his shoulders back and tilts his head. The first two are patently true, and he sees no reason why any warden would feel differently. The last two are intimate, and it makes his skin crawl that someone would know these things, that someone can tell it just by looking at him, by smelling him.

It's satisfying, very slightly, to know that he'd been right about this man from the start.]

You seem very eager to tell me what you know and what you can do. Now why is that?

[ukan]

[Lark isn't a condescending man. Even now, it's not condescension in his expression; but he is some kind of amused.]

You know why.

[Maybe Tommy doesn't, but the reasons aren't tricky. He's not afraid of Tommy, and he's aware that--because Lark has been here before and has people on board who know him--Tommy could find out what Lark is capable of if he's really curious.]

[bleak_midwinter]

Yes, but I'd hoped for something better than that. [Something smarter. Tommy is quick on his feet, but he is always, like Lark himself, playing the long game. Intimidation this soon, well, it's wasted potential.]

[ukan]

Did you?

[He gives him a mild, coaxing look. There is something more: the wolf in him makes most humans instinctively bristle, and Lark is constantly working out the best ways to exploit that. Or the best ways to find someone to hunt, someone challenging.

But that's not exactly something he'll offer, especially to Tommy, even if a Warden has plenty of ways of finding out the truth about him.]

You aren't used to disappointment yet, are you?

[bleak_midwinter]

[He's been bristling since the first moment Lark started talking to him on the network, his instincts on edge. He doesn't mind a challenge; if he did, he wouldn't have come here at all.]

Well, what I want I make sure I get.

[It's facetious, and clearly so despite the flatness of his tone. He's had plenty of disappointments, just not the kind that Lark is talking of.]

[ukan]

[Lark chuckles and turns back to the view beneath them]

I have one question, inmate to warden.

[bleak_midwinter]

[He hums softly-- a go-ahead, though not a promise for an answer.]

[ukan]

Do you believe in what this place does to the inmates?

[bleak_midwinter]

[It takes him some time to filter through his thoughts, some of that earlier hurt shining through. It disappears in a flash, though, and he leans his back against the railing, tilts his face up before answering.]

I believe that one person can see another and change them for the better.

[ukan]

So do I.

[His voice is soft now, all the aggression gone out of him.]

But the Admiral is the one who decides when we graduate. Which means to get your deal, you have to push your inmate to be what the Admiral thinks is better.

[bleak_midwinter]

He wouldn't have asked me if he didn't think my judgement was at least fair to middling, Lark.

[He sounds sure of himself, the soft joke only emphasizing that. He had told Furiosa, ten minutes after meeting her: I'm not a good man, but I try to be good enough. It's been enough plenty of times before, and it will be now.]

[ukan]

I do think you have better than fair judgment, Tommy. At least in the ways that actually matter where I'm from.

[Sure it's at odds with how he normally treats Tommy but it's the truth.]

But that doesn't change the fact that he's the one who decides when the rest of us get out of here, and he's the one holding something over your head and asking you to mold someone you don't know and therefore can't have any personal attachment to.

[bleak_midwinter]

[He gives the barest hint of a smile at that, huffs out a little breath.]

If I didn't want it, I wouldn't have agreed to the terms. As far the inmates... [He rolls his head back down and looks at Lark, sideways.] Every prisoner needs to find someone that can protect them from what that prison can do to them.

[ukan]

[Lark looks at him. Ordinarily he could keep his expression neutral, courtroom ready, but it's been one of the worst weeks he's ever had and he knows his emotions are plain to see. He's got a lot of mixed feelings, though (rage, grief, exhaustion, hope) which he can only hope makes him hard to read.

He assumes the Wardens are all on the same page: that it doesn't matter what the inmate wants because the inmate is wrong. How each Warden rationalizes their way to that is different, but the end result is the same. He's thinking, now, that he missed something with Tommy.]

And can a Warden be that person?

[bleak_midwinter]

I 'ope so, Lark, or I'd be in some trouble. [He sees what's going on with him, but he doesn't feel the need to call him out on it- revealing one's hand, again, is not necessary at this point.]

[ukan]

[A soft sound. Maybe it's disbelief, maybe it's relief.]

Have you met Arthas yet?

[bleak_midwinter]

I haven't, no. I hope you're not thinking of setting me up with anyone, I told you I'm very shy.