video;

[ukan]

I may have asked this before, but if I did, it was before this last...paradigm shift.

What is the worst thing you've ever imagined doing? Not something you did do--but something you dreamed up to soothe yourself.

Comments

[routemistress]

They would, wouldn't they?

Can you force people to trust you? Can you completely bypass any choice they might 'ave in the matter?

...It's not really the force I ever wanted. But if I 'ave a weak spot it's needing to be loved.

Private

[fireincarnate]

[Oh.

Jean just stares, for a second. She'd been contemplating her own answer, but this - ]

It could be so easy, to make people just - listen, and understand.

Private

[routemistress]

It's far too bloody easy. Isn't it?

You don't even need to be in touching distance, do you?

Private

[fireincarnate]

[She shakes her head.]

I could probably do it from here, if I wanted. [Most anyone she was talking to.]

Private

[routemistress]

...My new mate with the suppository on 'is 'ead's got a similar evil alternate problem. Want to meet up in the pub and talk tactics?

Private

[fireincarnate]

[Jean just stares, for a second.

Her smile comes on her suddenly; pure, quiet relief.]

Sounds good.

sorry

[darknessb4me]

That isn't trust.

never be sorry

[routemistress]

I know, Arthas. I know.

[ukan]

...I can't. But I've seen it done. I've had it done to me. I wonder if you'd feel differently about that force, if you were a wolf.

[routemistress]

We're descended from summat ...not unlike a wolf.

I've been on both ends of it and all. It's made me seriously consider burning out bits of me brain.

[ukan]

This is where the old platitudes about choice versus destiny come in, I suppose, but something like that.... I'm not sure what I think of it. It doesn't frighten me the way it did. [Actually, it does.]

[routemistress]

I said this to someone last week: biology's not destiny, but only a fool doesn't factor it in.

Frightens the living shit out of me.

[She doesn't look frightened, she looks angry, in that tense unshowy way a truly cornered and dangerous animal does: ready to tear out throats without bothering to hackle or growl.]

[ukan]

And what do you do with that kind of fear? A friend of mine--he murdered twenty people once without thinking about it. He handles the fear of that day by day, like an alcoholic. But as an alcoholic, I don't think there's anything that will ever be enough.

[routemistress]

Keep choosing not to be that person. What the 'eck else can I do with it?

[She shrugs, as if she isn't being deadly serious.]

I can be frightened as I like. I don't 'ave to let it get in me way.

[ukan]

The world would be a safer place if everyone could do that. Fear dictates a lot of things that people know they'll regret.

[routemistress]

[She nods.]

It's the biggest reason we're 'ere, I think. To teach that skill.

[And grins.]

...It 'elps that I'm more frightened of where being afraid takes me than I am of owt else.