I think if I didn't do the investigative stuff, actually had the time to work on that shit, it'd be fun. Come up with different ways to use magic, mix it with something useful, make a tool that helps...
[He's quiet a moment before he figures that, perhaps it's comfy enough that he can dip a toe back into the uncomfortable.]
You know, this is what I meant when I said 'next time', right? I didn't borrow that book just because I wanted to fuck the ship over, or had any intentions of summoning a different reality. My world is full of magic, but it hides pretty well, and I don't get opportunities to try new magic often. I haven't had a teacher since I was in high school, and this is the first time something I've done had a cost like this. I still don't know how what I did worked, I can't use offensive magic, or even magic that influences other people at all right now, but it did.
So, If- If I sounded like I was just trying to push that aside so I could fuck around again, that wasn't on purpose. I don't know what to do to pay for what I did, but I'm going to figure it out.
That's probably cause they didn't have any manners. I at least know I'm supposed to stay and sweep a little after I turn a bull loose in the China shop.
[And because he really does want to clear up all of it, he tries his luck again.]
Last thing, really and we can go back to something lighter, promise.
Why did you bring up Vinny? Was it cause you were angry, or what's the long game on that, I'm curious. He did me a fucked up favor, and I'm going to try and make it up to him some how, but the first order of operations was not letting my hot pan of oil spatter all over him when all he did was help me out.
If you ask me, I think no one should have to know. Especially since it'd be really easy for someone to get the wrong idea. You're his warden, I'd think you'd want to keep his name out of the splash zone, especially since he did nothing wrong.
So, I know I don't deserve an explanation, but it'd be great if you could explain it to me like I'm five, cause currently I don't get it.
[Hanna makes a face, reigning in some of his reaction because he feels like that's an easy thing to say if you didn't just cause the suffering of a shit ton of people.]
Public opinion is pretty fucking important if you want to be trusted with anything around here. And while I don't see it happening any time soon, I'd like to get my full tool kit back some day without a bunch of people shitting on who ever ends up being my warden for doing it, thanks.
So I will be worrying about it, because it's important to me. That and it's not just about their opinion, it's about showing people I'm more than a mistake. If no one trusts me, they won't let me help out either, and that just makes shit difficult if there is something I could help with, but no one wants me to stick my nose into it.
[He's so glad you think this is funny Lark, cause he doesn't.]
I'm not a hero, I just don't like seeing people get hurt if it was preventable. Enough shit happens to people when no one is paying attention or no one cares. I try and pay attention, that's all.
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I think if I didn't do the investigative stuff, actually had the time to work on that shit, it'd be fun. Come up with different ways to use magic, mix it with something useful, make a tool that helps...
[He's quiet a moment before he figures that, perhaps it's comfy enough that he can dip a toe back into the uncomfortable.]
You know, this is what I meant when I said 'next time', right? I didn't borrow that book just because I wanted to fuck the ship over, or had any intentions of summoning a different reality. My world is full of magic, but it hides pretty well, and I don't get opportunities to try new magic often. I haven't had a teacher since I was in high school, and this is the first time something I've done had a cost like this. I still don't know how what I did worked, I can't use offensive magic, or even magic that influences other people at all right now, but it did.
So, If- If I sounded like I was just trying to push that aside so I could fuck around again, that wasn't on purpose. I don't know what to do to pay for what I did, but I'm going to figure it out.
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[Not as plainly as Hanna is.]
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[And because he really does want to clear up all of it, he tries his luck again.]
Last thing, really and we can go back to something lighter, promise.
Why did you bring up Vinny? Was it cause you were angry, or what's the long game on that, I'm curious. He did me a fucked up favor, and I'm going to try and make it up to him some how, but the first order of operations was not letting my hot pan of oil spatter all over him when all he did was help me out.
If you ask me, I think no one should have to know. Especially since it'd be really easy for someone to get the wrong idea. You're his warden, I'd think you'd want to keep his name out of the splash zone, especially since he did nothing wrong.
So, I know I don't deserve an explanation, but it'd be great if you could explain it to me like I'm five, cause currently I don't get it.
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That's fair. It was worth a shot to ask even so. You know, gotta do my due diligence now that everyone thinks I'm just recklessly stupid all the time.
Though it's probably going to get exhausting, attempting to flip that narrative back around.
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Yeah? Well one out of a hundred or so. Got my work cut out for me.
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Public opinion is pretty fucking important if you want to be trusted with anything around here. And while I don't see it happening any time soon, I'd like to get my full tool kit back some day without a bunch of people shitting on who ever ends up being my warden for doing it, thanks.
So I will be worrying about it, because it's important to me. That and it's not just about their opinion, it's about showing people I'm more than a mistake. If no one trusts me, they won't let me help out either, and that just makes shit difficult if there is something I could help with, but no one wants me to stick my nose into it.
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In that case... just keep doing what you're doing.
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I'm not a hero, I just don't like seeing people get hurt if it was preventable. Enough shit happens to people when no one is paying attention or no one cares. I try and pay attention, that's all.
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I appreciate it a lot.