ukan | IC Inbox III

I think I need to ask for my restraints lifted.

Kirei's more a symptom than an actual cause. I think...we worked together with the Pope's protection. I'm all right forgiving what he did to me now.

And there are times where I worry I might need to be getting in between a warden and inmate.

Kirei is a warden who preyed on an inmate. Your forgiveness weighs in at a lot, but- Trevor, I'm not convinced he's not a danger.

It was a flood. And it was over a year ago. He hasn't hurt anyone like that.

[It doesn't settle his hackles or anything, but he tries to prioritize the wishes of the victims in incidents. And he also doesn't want to lean so heavily on how protective he feels of Trevor; no reason to spook the man because a werewolf has decided to adopt him into the family.]

Okay.

I still want to workshop new ways of dealing with these assholes, though. Stopping an incident in progress is one thing; we need to figure out how to prevent the incidents from reoccurring or it's just going to be the endless cycle it has been for years.

We're not going to get very far if their wardens don't want it.

I think the part that kills me the most is the inconsistency. There's no laws or guidelines. It's every warden reinventing the wheel for their own inmate. Depending on who you get, that could be a slap on the wrist or public humiliation or actual torture. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be.

The reason is that what works on one person is nothing to another. Not one of the inmates I've been paired with has responded the same way the others have. Pagan, when he got in trouble? I could talk it out with him.

You're more like I am.

So what I'm after isn't a uniform set of consequences, because that never would have worked on me. What I'm after is everyone agreeing that there need to be consequences that actually matter.

Yeah. You're right.

What worked on you?

...I wish you knew what The Grinch is.

The short story is I learned empathy. I'd never had it before. Even as a human I never...cared about other people. I could imagine what they were feeling but only if it was useful to me.

I learned how to be better than that.

Really?

Huh.

Hoping for something more exciting?

No, it's just...

Everyone wants to tell us we deserve each other and that we're so much alike. I just can't shut off the part of my brain that cares about people.

Tried plenty of times. Can't do it. I can't empathize with your lack of empathy. Weird.

So is it like a muscle with you, or..? Practice until you get it right?

People think we're alike because we're both stubborn and we both do what we think is right, regardless of who it pisses off. We frustrate people so they think we deserve to frustrate each other.

I think they'd be even more frustrated if they knew how much I like working with you. [With, not for, not over. Trevor is more like a partner than an inmate.

All this is also said so he can pause and think about the question.]

I have to stop sometimes and weigh what I feel about someone against what I'm after, remind myself that I like them enough to sacrifice something I care about doing. When I'm able to do that I feel better. ...Usually. Sometimes caring about people pisses me off.

You're frustrating and sometimes I want to punch you. But I really like working with you, too.

Mmn.

Because they won't do as they're told, or because you can never keep anyone truly safe without enslaving them to your will?

I...really don't like how you phrased that. Which means you're onto something.

I told you, I studied to be a great monster hunter. Loads of would-be vampire kings and queens through history are like that.

I didn't know monster psychology was one of your talents. [He's joking but, again, not really. He likes Trevor's insights.]

For the record I don't want anyone chained to my vision. ...Yes I do. But my vision is more flexible now. It isn't all about me anymore.

Your vision of making this shithole a safer place.

Actually, I have an easier time letting people do their own thing here. It's back home that I get controlling. The stakes are so much higher back home, it's hard to let go.

So what's your vision? Or, visions.

I don't want wolves to be visible. It's too dangerous. But I don't want us to have to make our way through life by working the black market and living on the streets, either. I see wolves in places of influence, like I live: attorneys and doctors, politicians and business owners. I see a world where we can coexist even if humans never know they're coexisting.

Some humans might catch on. Might turn ugly. Literal witch hunts were started for less.

How do you tell your kind apart if they don't tell you themselves?

That's what drove us underground in the first place.

But there's no way to tell the difference if you aren't one. People don't trust us--well, healthy, well-adjusted people are instinctively afraid of us. Animals don't like us. But there's nothing that screams 'lycanthrope' about us.

You ever think about starting a commune? Just fucking off in a corner of the world where you won't be bothered, instead of trying to get into human society?

Because humans can be real shits when they're panicked.

That's how we survived all these years. Most wolves are happy to settle. I just never have been. Why should I have to give up the life I've built, when I can find a way to keep living it?

Because otherwise you’ll be constantly in danger?

IC Inbox III

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