IC Inbox III

[ukan]

This is Lark, leave a message.

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[ukan]

"We will," he says, in that I will do anything you want tone he sometimes gets, whenever Alec actually asks for something. Even when Alec says 'no'.

Maybe especially then.

[kissthatgoodbye]

He pops the rest of the orange in his mouth, watches Lark while he chews and savors the tangy sweetness of it.

"Are you liking your trip on the Barge more this time around?"

[ukan]

"I feel like I'm getting more done." There's a complicated mix of color: the forest green that just watching Alec can arouse, a violet ribbon with jagged edges, a muted blue that borders on grey.

[kissthatgoodbye]

Alec watches, his own aura - not muted, he can't hide it at will, but the flow of it steady.

"So it's been worth coming back to you?"

[ukan]

He hates that question. He hates the dark colors in his aura, the shock of ugly brown mustard that dirties the gold. "If it hadn't hurt you it would have been."

[kissthatgoodbye]

Alec can make himself feel nothing, can turn everything off and lock it away from himself. He's done it before, but because he sincerely hopes he never has to do it again, he doesn't clamp down on that now.

The visceral, dark red is back, little fingers of it snaking through everything else at the reminder; plus a new color, yellow the color of infection, so faint the rest drowns it out nearly immediately but stubborn nonetheless.

"Did I tell you that Jon and I spoke?" he offers, instead of coming directly at that topic. "And it didn't end in a threat."

[ukan]

"No," he can't hide the concern he feels seeing those colors: it comes as a jet black streaked over all the others. "No, you didn't. What did he say?"

[kissthatgoodbye]

"He didn't like that I called him dismissive, I guess." Usually this kind of comment from Alec - especially regarding Jon - is scathing. This time he offers it thoughtfully, and reaches for his communicator.

"We managed to call a truce. For now." He holds the communicator out to Lark once he finds what he's after.

[ukan]

"I'll take a truce." He'll take it gladly, in fact. Few things stress a wolf out like having strife in the pack.

[kissthatgoodbye]

"I can't promise it'll last," he cautions, something smoky and dark trailing in under the blue in his aura. He hesitates slightly when he sees it curling over his fingers.

"Well, I can make it last, if you asked me to. But I can't promise if I'm being honest."

[ukan]

"I won't ask you to be dishonest to either of us, you know that," he murmurs. "But I appreciate it while it lasts."

[kissthatgoodbye]

"Well, you married me for my honesty," he chuckles, sending a pulse of the purple through again, less pale for a moment than before.

"He did make me think, though. How quickly I stopped wanting to punch him in the face after we stopped talking past each other."

[ukan]

"What made you decide to try that?" It is so much easier with most people, after all, and Jon and Alec had already proved they could exist on different corners of the ship.

[kissthatgoodbye]

That's simple anyway.

"He's important to you." He's important to so many people that are important to Lark - and, yes, to Alec. "Tim said he's just bad at getting out of his own way."

[ukan]

"That's putting it gently. I'm glad you and Tim came to terms, too. By the way."

[kissthatgoodbye]

"He listened," Alec shrugs, but he can't stop the way the ratio of blue and then red and then blue again starts to edge out the other colors.

Well. He could, but he doesn't, watching thoughtfully.

[ukan]

"He's good at that." And it's a rare trait, one Lark prizes in a person. His own aura has flecks of white-blue in it, bits like fireflies.

[kissthatgoodbye]

"It's been... Nice. Having him around." This is where Alec normally leaves it - it doesn't really bear talking about - but he wants more to take advantage of whatever clarity this flood can give them. Whatever of the minute to minute he can show Lark without having to say anything.

"I still don't always know what I'm supposed to do around the pack," he makes himself say, watching the darker green tinting the dark blue a stormy teal color.

[ukan]

"What do you think you're supposed to do?" They've had this conversation but it usually ends with them dancing around the answers.

[kissthatgoodbye]

"Support you," is what it boils down to, what everything boils down to where pack is concerned.

"But I just mean - there's only me. I'm different. And I feel that a lot."

[ukan]

He knows. Even among other transgenics, Alec is different. "Do you feel it when it's just the two of us?"

[kissthatgoodbye]

He could lie. He is a liar, he could get away with it, even now.

He lets the teal and the blue pave over more of the red unchallenged and admits, "Sometimes."

[ukan]

"I do, too." Something he hasn't really admitted to before; the degrees of being alone are never, will never, be comparable between them. But he says it now because the iron grey of it mutes even the vibrant gold-and-blue of his aura. Not for long; it's a sudden, stark darkness and then the colors are back.

[kissthatgoodbye]

Alec tilts his head sharply, a pulse of surprise echoing the movement in his aura.

"How?" he asks.

[ukan]

He chews his thoughts and then shakes his head. "What do you think pack means to me?"