“No. Godric would not lie about his motives. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t found all of this…very difficult. And hurtful. To feel like I am an afterthought in decision-making because whatever she needs or wants always comes first.”
He hates how he sounds right now too, but even after talking with Godric that last time, he still resents it.
“I told him it was not fair to me, always leaving me to react to whatever the two of them do - and he acknowledged that point. And I hope the issue will eventually solve itself.”
In the meantime, though, he’s lost his partner, and he’s feel very hurt and lonely.
He'd had moments in his own relationship where he wasn't sure who Alec would choose, how far their commitment spread. He wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone.
"How do you see it resolving? What's the best outcome for you?"
“Godric asked me to try and make amends with Annie. I told him it didn’t fall to me to do that. I have never done anything to her, and she is the one who hurt me.”
And he has a hard time forgiving things like this. Especially given past history.
“I don’t know what the best outcome looks like. I want to be with Godric - and believe his promises that he will not make unilateral decisions or chase her over a cliff again. Perhaps her graduating will also help. I just know I don’t want to be a third wheel.”
"No one should ask you to be a third wheel," he agrees quietly. He certainly wouldn't stand for it. He'd been afraid of it himself, more than once.
"If Xigbar graduates first, you should go spend some time alone with him. Hell, you should anyway, even if she graduates tomorrow. You and he deserve the time together to heal."
Logically, Archer knows it wasn’t anyone’s intention to make him feel like a third wheel. But how else was he supposed to feel when Godric and Annie left on their own without him? Godric apologize for all of it and tried to comfort him before he left - but those hurts are too deep, too tied up in an unpleasant past to heal overnight. Or even over the course of a week. Now with Godric gone too, he feels like a piece of himself is missing, which makes all of this even harder.
He looks at his hands and just…honestly seems at a loss.
“I wanted that,” he says quietly. “I wanted more time… before he actually left. And maybe there is a way to visit, but-“
His voice cracks, and he has to stop himself. Just for a moment.
His voice is still quiet, but steady, when he speaks again.
“For now… for now I have to learn how to be without him.”
"It's one of the most important things you can learn," Lark murmurs. He knows Archer struggles, and he knows Godric was a support. But he knows both of them will be better if Archer can learn to enjoy his own company, and if Godric really can learn to say no to the girl.
He does struggle. Not openly and certainly not all the time, but there are times he has needed the kind of level, thoughtful perspective Godric always used to provide. He knows that Lark and Warren can help him with that piece, and he is exceedingly grateful for both of them.
The times they were intimate, though? That they enjoyed each other’s presence? That is still a void that isn’t going to be filled anytime soon.
He’s quiet for a long time. Then-
“I know… I was alone for such a long time before, it’s…jarring now. To feel that this change is so difficult to adjust to.”
He feels a pang of sympathy, which is still such a new emotion for him that it still strikes him hard.
"I'll be with you in whatever capacity I can. I know I'm not him... I know our friendship isn't anywhere near the same. But you were there for me when Alec was gone, when he was dying at home. It helped to have you there and I want to be able to help you in turn."
"Do you mind if I come by as a wolf sometime?" He doesn't know if Archer likes dogs; he clearly likes cats. But sometimes it's easier for people to accept silent company, and to find comfort in not being expected to talk. Nothing offers that better than a wolf.
When Lark comes by, he's dragging a blanket (one with quite a lot of fur on it) and one of his favorite stuffy toys.
Since he's a wolf and both these things are jammed in his mouth, it's an endeavor. The door isn't locked but, given the state of his paws, he scratches politely.
Archer is waiting, of course. Sekhmet is already tucked away in his room with all her things so there won't be any fussing.
He opens the door, and seeing Lark with a blanket and toy in his mouth is...really quite something. It elicits a faint smile from him - the first in a long while.
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He hates how he sounds right now too, but even after talking with Godric that last time, he still resents it.
“I told him it was not fair to me, always leaving me to react to whatever the two of them do - and he acknowledged that point. And I hope the issue will eventually solve itself.”
In the meantime, though, he’s lost his partner, and he’s feel very hurt and lonely.
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"How do you see it resolving? What's the best outcome for you?"
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“Godric asked me to try and make amends with Annie. I told him it didn’t fall to me to do that. I have never done anything to her, and she is the one who hurt me.”
And he has a hard time forgiving things like this. Especially given past history.
“I don’t know what the best outcome looks like. I want to be with Godric - and believe his promises that he will not make unilateral decisions or chase her over a cliff again. Perhaps her graduating will also help. I just know I don’t want to be a third wheel.”
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"If Xigbar graduates first, you should go spend some time alone with him. Hell, you should anyway, even if she graduates tomorrow. You and he deserve the time together to heal."
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He looks at his hands and just…honestly seems at a loss.
“I wanted that,” he says quietly. “I wanted more time… before he actually left. And maybe there is a way to visit, but-“
His voice cracks, and he has to stop himself. Just for a moment.
His voice is still quiet, but steady, when he speaks again.
“For now… for now I have to learn how to be without him.”
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The times they were intimate, though? That they enjoyed each other’s presence? That is still a void that isn’t going to be filled anytime soon.
He’s quiet for a long time. Then-
“I know… I was alone for such a long time before, it’s…jarring now. To feel that this change is so difficult to adjust to.”
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"I'll be with you in whatever capacity I can. I know I'm not him... I know our friendship isn't anywhere near the same. But you were there for me when Alec was gone, when he was dying at home. It helped to have you there and I want to be able to help you in turn."
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Instead, he offers a quiet answer.
“You have already helped me, Lark. Very much. And I…treasure your friendship.”
It’s hard for him to say things like that, but there it is.
“You are always welcome. Anytime you would like to come over, I will always open the door for you.”
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He would appreciate it, in fact.
“My cat might not like it, but she can go in my room.”
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Since he's a wolf and both these things are jammed in his mouth, it's an endeavor. The door isn't locked but, given the state of his paws, he scratches politely.
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He opens the door, and seeing Lark with a blanket and toy in his mouth is...really quite something. It elicits a faint smile from him - the first in a long while.
"So what's your plan for all this?"
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Then he howl-barks at Archer to invite him over.
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Archer’s mouth twitches despite himself, and he sits on the couch next to his friend.
“Do you play fetch too?”
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He sets the toy on Archer's lap. He also plays tug o war.