Oh, and why the hell can't inmates get into the kitchen? What if something happens to the wardens or their items stop working? How would anyone be able to feed themselves?
If I managed to convince the Admiral though, within a month some asshole would be turning the food processor into a pipe bomb. They'd blow some innocent person's arm off just so we'd all know they hate it here, as if they're the only fucking one that does.
[He can't muster up the energy to be thoughtful or fair about any of this. He's so tired, so fucking tired of how human beings screw each other over.]
[He says, mild and sad. Trevor doesn't have all the answers]
You don't really need all of those fancy fucking future things though. A kitchen fire, a few big stew pots, an oven, and someone big to watch over it and make sure no one fucks with it. Everyone here's so fucking clever with their technology but no one wants to mess with a baker who's the size of a house.
We have to do everything but extort people into cooking around here. You find someone who bakes and will bake for the ship without me begging, I'll kiss their feet.
Most of them were in my first week: I'd say I'm doing pretty well.
[He huffs, but thinks back, counting on his fingers]
Barring double-fights?
Taylor, Jon-the-librarian for two seconds, John the priest, Sephiroth, Zack, Godric for a half-second, Sweeney, Daniel, Adrian but he's from my home so he doesn't count, Dracula obviously, but also here when I tried to stab him a few times, Envy, Hunter, Laszlo, and Shen Wei.
And look, I know it sounds like a lot, but some of them I lost or was beaten fairly badly so I don't know what your standards are.
I thought she was getting attacked by bees, so I grabbed her in my cloak and stuffed her in the chapel and accidentally killed some of them. I didn't realize they were hers.
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Oh, and why the hell can't inmates get into the kitchen? What if something happens to the wardens or their items stop working? How would anyone be able to feed themselves?
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I think most things on the ship are designed to make us work together, and human beings always find ways not to do it.
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Or at least it shouldn't be.
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If I managed to convince the Admiral though, within a month some asshole would be turning the food processor into a pipe bomb. They'd blow some innocent person's arm off just so we'd all know they hate it here, as if they're the only fucking one that does.
[He can't muster up the energy to be thoughtful or fair about any of this. He's so tired, so fucking tired of how human beings screw each other over.]
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[He says, mild and sad. Trevor doesn't have all the answers]
You don't really need all of those fancy fucking future things though. A kitchen fire, a few big stew pots, an oven, and someone big to watch over it and make sure no one fucks with it. Everyone here's so fucking clever with their technology but no one wants to mess with a baker who's the size of a house.
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Wish I knew anything about baking. Sadly, I was born a monster-hunter, not a baker.
Oh - you kept saying you wanted a list of people I've beaten here, right?
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Not very. Last I counted, I was at fourteen, but some of those are friendly now.
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Which isn't a lot!
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[He huffs, but thinks back, counting on his fingers]
Barring double-fights?
Taylor, Jon-the-librarian for two seconds, John the priest, Sephiroth, Zack, Godric for a half-second, Sweeney, Daniel, Adrian but he's from my home so he doesn't count, Dracula obviously, but also here when I tried to stab him a few times, Envy, Hunter, Laszlo, and Shen Wei.
And look, I know it sounds like a lot, but some of them I lost or was beaten fairly badly so I don't know what your standards are.
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I thought she was getting attacked by bees, so I grabbed her in my cloak and stuffed her in the chapel and accidentally killed some of them. I didn't realize they were hers.
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[he doesn't know why he's arguing so he stops]
All right, we'll use your metric.
Have you spoken to Father John at all?
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Like I said. So long as he doesn't murder anyone else I'll leave him alone.
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But it's too much. He doesn't care, he can barely think.]
Fine. Good enough.
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Should probably get back to cooking.