Except you didn’t take time off. You continued to work even knowing you were compromised.
And your errors in judgement have, quite frankly, created more work for me. Daniel is not doing well at all, and all of this could have greatly exacerbated an already tenuous situation.
I don’t mind filling in where there are gaps, but knowing when to stop is also something all of us need to know.
If you want to come back to dinner shift, that’s fine, but anything more complex than that, you absolutely need to wait.
But you are currently making your own problems other people’s problem. And I don’t mean in the sense that you asked me to help you with dinner - that was an appropriate request, and I have been happy to do it.
But this mess with Daniel? You are going to have to find another way to deal with what you’re going through. One that doesn’t negatively impact others.
My problems are no one else's issue, and I'm sure as hell not pushing them off on anyone else. I get it. I dropped the ball. I don't usually do that, especially with you. But taking Trevor off the case is going to fix it. Unless I'm missing something?
The problem is that you picked up the ball in the first place, Lark.
When I can’t function properly, I recognize it and spend a long time in the Enclosure killing dragons.
Take Trevor off Daniel duty, get me Jon’s item, and we will call it settled. Though when Jon returns, I will be giving him a full report of what has been going on in his absence.
Nothing that has happened to me can be fixed with more violence, here or in the Enclosure. The only thing that is going to help is getting things moving again. As for Jon, of course he needs a detailed rundown of what's happened.
But that's if he comes back at all. You should really be asking yourself what you'll do if he doesn't.
[Lark is asking himself that every time his mind slows.]
I didn’t say that to tell you to do what I do, Lark. But you are going to have to think of something else besides getting involved when your judgment is compromised.
The fact that you needed to take days off from doing dinner should have been a signal to you that you shouldn’t try to handle anything more complex. Because even though meal shifts are still work, it doesn’t require making judgments about the welfare of others or juggling Warden-Inmate affairs.
If you can’t handle something basic like dinner, you have no business working on something complicated that can have more far-reaching effects.
Coming back to dinner should have been your starting point to test what you could handle.
A strong suggestion, though. Keep Sweeney on board in watching over Daniel. He's not afraid to fight, and we need more inmates like him who will step up. He's honorable, I don't want to see him fall down a hole because we took him for granted.
I work with Sweeney in the kitchen all the time and have no issue working with him on this. I even approached him to let him know I was assuming responsibility for Daniel since I knew he was the one who fended off Trevor the first time. He was receptive to that, and I certainly plan to continue what we have going.
The issue with Trevor, like I’ve said, was he already deeply frightened Daniel. And I object, on principle, to a man styling himself as a protector from revenge killings when he burned a man to death a few weeks ago and hasn’t proven in my eyes that he will refrain from such behavior in the future.
Sweeney is reliable. Trevor is not. And I know from personal experience, good intentions don’t matter if people fear you. They’ll execute you, anyway.
Look, I need to get back to work. [Did he just tell Archer he was going to take time off work? He can't remember. Shit.] I'll bring you the item tonight.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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And your errors in judgement have, quite frankly, created more work for me. Daniel is not doing well at all, and all of this could have greatly exacerbated an already tenuous situation.
I don’t mind filling in where there are gaps, but knowing when to stop is also something all of us need to know.
If you want to come back to dinner shift, that’s fine, but anything more complex than that, you absolutely need to wait.
Re: audio
[He doesn't mean the problems get bigger. He knows he's floundering. If he stops fighting the current he'll drowned.]
audio
But you are currently making your own problems other people’s problem. And I don’t mean in the sense that you asked me to help you with dinner - that was an appropriate request, and I have been happy to do it.
But this mess with Daniel? You are going to have to find another way to deal with what you’re going through. One that doesn’t negatively impact others.
Re: audio
audio
When I can’t function properly, I recognize it and spend a long time in the Enclosure killing dragons.
Take Trevor off Daniel duty, get me Jon’s item, and we will call it settled. Though when Jon returns, I will be giving him a full report of what has been going on in his absence.
Re: audio
But that's if he comes back at all. You should really be asking yourself what you'll do if he doesn't.
[Lark is asking himself that every time his mind slows.]
audio
And I’m already working on it.
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audio
The fact that you needed to take days off from doing dinner should have been a signal to you that you shouldn’t try to handle anything more complex. Because even though meal shifts are still work, it doesn’t require making judgments about the welfare of others or juggling Warden-Inmate affairs.
If you can’t handle something basic like dinner, you have no business working on something complicated that can have more far-reaching effects.
Coming back to dinner should have been your starting point to test what you could handle.
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audio
[ And his voice is softer this time. ]
What else is bothering you?
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[he pauses]
Someone's at the door, can I call you back?
audio
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Look, first off, I owe you an apology.
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[And he knows how that sounds and he knows how people are arguing he should have at least ten percent less guilt about this, but he doesn't.]
For not listening to you.
audio
You’re developing a bad habit of blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault.
[ The other point, though… ]
You haven’t been yourself. I know that, and I accept your apology.
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audio
The issue with Trevor, like I’ve said, was he already deeply frightened Daniel. And I object, on principle, to a man styling himself as a protector from revenge killings when he burned a man to death a few weeks ago and hasn’t proven in my eyes that he will refrain from such behavior in the future.
Sweeney is reliable. Trevor is not. And I know from personal experience, good intentions don’t matter if people fear you. They’ll execute you, anyway.
Re: audio
[He won't say more than that, it's not his place, but he does wonder how that talk would go.]
audio
I don’t have much patience with his brand of stubbornness right now, though.
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[ And there is a pause. ]
Don’t stay late.